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Nina - Check out the pregnancy stats on the site here. They show data based on age, type of TL, length of tubes left after TR, etc. Success rates vary based on all those things..I think it will be very informative for you until others chime in! I cannot say enough about how great I feel 5 weeks post TR..Almost all my symptoms are gone and I no longer feel like a stranger in my own body. I hope your journey to TR and back to wellness is a short one for you!
I just read your post and I feel for you. I wish you luck finding a solution to the problem.
I was married for 7 years to the most selfish man on the planet. He wanted me to get a tubal because we already had three children and, as he kept reminding me, he never wanted the third one. I chose to do what he wanted and then 4 months later, we separated. Not long after that, we got divorced. He is now having a child with his new girlfriend and I'm stuck with all these symptoms and feelings of loss, and I didn't know what to do. I recently got married to a wonderful man that I've known since before I married my ex-husband, and things are wonderful. The only thing missing is a child of our own. My children would love another sibling to boss around and my husband wants whatever I want. I never was ready to give up on having another child, and I certainly didn't want to be stuck with all the night sweats, the cramping, the bleeding, and the mood swings. So, I checked out TR online. Finally a solution to everything! I only hope I can get my money saved up soon so I can make the trip up to NC to get it all taken care of so I can start living again.
My family is very supportive. All except for my mother, who thinks 4 children is too many in today's economy. She has a point, but to what extent should we put off having children? I would have been 80 by the time I reached financial stability. I have a degree and I work at a job I enjoy. My husband's a police officer and we're very stable. All three of my children are well-adjusted and doing very well now that we're away from their father, and timing just seems right.
Any ideas how successful this option is for someone my age (26)? And do most of the people that get pregnant after TR have to use fertility meds?? Thanks for any help!
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I am assuming he or she tested you for other causes for your symptoms? If so then...Listen to your body. As you can tell from the women on this site..we are sometimes "smarter" than our doctors. The fact is that if they have no experience with PTLS in their patients and their GIANT medical establishment tells them there is no such thing as PTLS then the medical lemmings do not question it. It is only those doctors who have open minds and truly listen to their patients, willing to consider unchartered possibilities (like DR. B, etc.) that are supportive and helpful (and visionary it seems). Sadly, these physicians are in the minority and that is why millions of women suffer needlessly and are told on a daily basis that they are "mental" and handed anti-depressants..or are told that they are peri-menopausal...or just plain aging..follow you heart, track your symptoms to see when each began, write them all down and keep telling you doctor that you have PTLS (or find another one!)..show him or her the stories here, the articles on the net, the symptoms lists. Ultimately, whether or not anyone believes you..you can still get the TR. I can tell you with each passing day I am better and stronger. I am losing my symptoms more repidly than I thought. My aversion to sex nearly destroyed my marriage..Since the TR I am able to have sex again and more of it than I was having pre TL!..I know...TMI..but I was just making a point. My other symptoms are fading and life is bright again.. We are all here if you need supprt and a shoulder but do not let anyone tell you PTLS does not exist. Good luck on your journey and may it bring you back to life!
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I'm thankful for all this info. I noticed so many problems w/ my body since TL. I asked doctors if my symptoms had anything to do w/ TL. I feel in my heart my problems are from TL. Doctors say no. Now I know it is from TL. I'm anxious about TR to relieve symptoms and hope for another baby.
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Michelle, that is a great idea..enhancing skills and learning or getting a degree on-line is huge right now. We have lots of employees at my company who are doing on-line degrees. Brenda, since you originally thought of nursing but that might require more time and energy than you have right now..perhaps a nurse's aid might be just the level that would work for you?? Only you can decide what will be fulfilling and workable for both you and your family. I am still trying to think of some alternatives for you as well. Keep the faith..
If you are interested in school, you may want to give it another shot. Perhaps an Associates degree as a nurses aid might be a good program that would interest you.
I work at a college and we do get women who didn't do well when they were young, but time went by, they matured, they got a good support system, decided to focus and then did a great job in school. If this is interesting, talk to one of the admissions counselors and let them know that 10 years has passed, you've matured and honestly explain what went wrong before and why it is different now. A lot of times, our very best students are people very much like yourself!!
And, a lot of programs now offer classes online! You can do your reading and classwork from your home computer.
If you are admitted, fill out all the financial aid forms and apply for every scholarship that you qualify form. We actually have scholarships that don't get used because NOBODY applied for them!!
Good Luck to You. I went through PTLS for 5 years myself, so I know how miserable it is...
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Momzilla, (I'm calling you that because there's another Tracy) I live in Raymond, Washington. It's a small town and there's not a lot of opportunity here, especially for someone like me with almost no skills. I was always really smart in school. I was the kid who all the teachers said could do anything I wanted. I got stupid when I was 16 and decided I wanted to have a baby with my boyfriend, who was 24. After I had my son I couldn't handle all the responsibility of taking care of him and keeping up with school, so I dropped out. I got my GED before my son turned 2 and tried going to college. I wanted to get into the nursing program, so I was taking prerequisites for that. I didn't have much of a support system, so after two quarters I couldn't handle it any more and I dropped out. I've tried going back to school a couple more times since then, but it never works out. Now I can't get any more grants because they don't trust me to finish.
I don't have a lot of work experience. I was an office aid for a few months through a youth program when I was 19. I only had that job until the funding ran out. A couple years later I worked in a seafood cannery for a while, but it was too far to drive, and I really didn't have to work because my boyfriend made enough money, so I just stayed home with our two boys. After we split up, I got my job in the kitchen of the local nursing home. That's where I met my husband-he worked in the housekeeping dept. there. I worked there for ten years, except for the few months I took off when I had each of my two youngest kids. I quit that job a little over two years ago because my husband couldn't get enough sleep when he had to get up to watch the kids. His job is full time and he makes twice as much per hour as I was making, so his job was more important. I didn't want to be there anymore anyway, I was burned out and I kept being told I was too slow. Every time the place was taking in less money, they would cut our hours and we would still have to do the same amount of work. When I started there I was 24 and energetic, but ten years and two more kids later, I just didn't have the energy any more. So I've been home since then, except for the motel cleaning job I had a couple months ago for three weeks and then lost because she said I was too slow and had a bad attitude. I don't think my attitude was that bad, at least not until she started saying I was slow and stuff. I'm sure my mood swings didn't help the situation. What sucks is that I liked the job. I liked being able to make a room look nice in a short amount of time. I just don't like being rushed, because I like to pay attention to detail and get things just right. I guess I need a job where accuracy is more important than speed. I applied to an agency to do in-home-care for elderly and disabled people where my aunt and my cousin both work. About six weeks ago they said they would call me the following week and it sounded like they had some work for me. They never called and I finally called them about a month later and they said they hadn't had enough clients to hire, but they would soon and they would call me. They called after a while and asked me again what days and hours I could work and said they would call me the following day. That was a couple weeks ago and I haven't heard anything. That job would be great because you can pick your own hours and days, and they just give you the clients that fit. I hope something happens with that soon. In the meantime, I'm still looking.
As for going to a natural health practitioner, there is no extra money for anything, and nobody is going to help me for free. I might try that Damiana stuff, just to see if it would help. But I doubt it will, until I can get myself fixed.
I didn't mean to tell you my life story, but when I got started I couldn't stop. Thanks again for all your help.
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Brenda, Thank you for your kind words. I feel this board is such an important tool for us to listen to and support one another. I went for 3 years with NOBODY understanding how I felt and feeling so alone and lost. Good days, bad, days, whatever, it is nice to know that you can come here and share your feelings and help each other out..I am glad you have been focusing on your husband and that things are a little better for you. It sounds like you are trying so hard and I applaud how you are hanging in there..If you do not mind me asking..what kind of work have you done in the past. I am an HR manager so I interview folks all the time and maybe, if I know what you did and what skills you have I can think of some options for you. Where do you live?? If you want to e-mail off-line you can send an e-mail to me at work (hubert@sharpsec.com) during the day (9-5 EST). I have been doing so much better each day. I hope that one day soon you will realize your goal as well and find the relief you need until you can get your TR..then you and your husband can find you way back to each other in every way. I was surprised that my libido has come back already..I honestly think the Damiana helped!..I thought that would take months..If there is a reputable natural health practitioner near you perhaps you can go and get a recommendation for some things that might help you in the interim as you wait to see when you can get your TR??? It is worth a try and may alleviate some symptoms..Hang in there and know you have "sisters" here to listen and help.
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Brenda, I know exactly what your going through. I've been on prozac every since I've had my TL. It's helped me so much with my moods. I'm not saying it's for everyone but I had to do what was right for me.I don't want to be on it forever though. It just sucks we have to go through this. As far as the credit card goes I'm in the same boat, Thankfully I have perfect credit and have the option to do this. Many other's do not and I feel for them. Still I want to come up with as much money as I can up front. DH and I have an understanding. I'm responsible for certain bills every month and any money that I have left over is mine to do with as I please. I just have to find out how much the payment will be on my CC so I can budget it in with my bills. I've made some cutbacks such as going to basic cable to save some extra money. My electric bill is what really hurts though. We tinted almost all the windows in our house and changed out the lightbulbs to the one's that use less electric and that's shaved off $50.00 a month from our electric bill. If there's a will theres a way and I'm doing my best to figure one out.lol
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Tracy, It helps to know that others understand what I am going through. I have thought about babysitting to earn some money, but when my mood swings get really bad, it's all I can do to handle my own kids. I know I could do it if I really tried, but I'm just afraid of losing my temper and that would be the end of it. I don't want everyone in town to think I'm this horrible person who gets mean with little kids. I'm really a nice person, but this PTLS stuff is really doing a number on me. It sucks that I have a credit card that I could use, but if I do, my husband will probably never forgive me. I'm so afraid that if I wait too long, my ovaries will be too damaged from lack of blood flow to ever function normally again.
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Hi Ladies, I'm kind of new here. I've been lurking the boards for months now and posted acouple of times but not on a regular basis. I had my TL with my last baby ( she was #4 ) and have been having PTLS every since. I hate that I didn't research it before I had it done but what's done is done I guess. I'm really wanting the TR surgery with Dr. Berger and really hoping to get it at the end of this year or sometime next year. I just filled out the medical release forms and faxed them to the hospital where my TL was done at and hoping they send all my records to Dr. Berger's office sometime today so he can look over them and see if I'm a candidate. I like many other's do not have all the money up front for the surgery so I'm starting a fund to try and save for it. I feel for you Brenda, I was reading your post and I have 2 small kids at home and don't want to put them in daycare either so I babysit here at the house and make decent money for a stay at home mom. I know it's not for everyone but you could check into something like that. Even finding a family that you could babysit for and take your kid(s) along. I'm about ready to get a part time night job to help with the cost as well. I know it will suck for awhile but I'm just about willing to do anything to raise the money for my TR. The side effects are terrible. I'm right there with you when it comes to the mood swings. I've been taking prozac since my TL and I don't want to be on that forever. When I told my DH that the reversal will help bring back my sex drive he told me we could charge it on his CC right now.Ha! He's joking of course but that's probably what I'm going to have to do is charge it and pay it off every month just like every other bill. I'm sure I'll be around the boards all the time now. Tracy
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Momzilla, I want to thank you for all your advice and support. You've kind of become a "mother" to all of us who are suffering, at least that's how I feel. I haven't posted for a couple of days because I've been trying to focus on my relationship. Friday night I had a discussion with my husband. I told him that I love him and that I am sorry he has had to deal with my mood swings and everything lately. I also told him how much it hurt me that he discussed our personal stuff with a couple of his coworkers, who just happen to be women (he works with all women). I asked him if he had already decided to "get rid of me" or if there is still a chance for us. He said he wanted things to work out for us. I told him I would do my best to make things better. I gave him a little space and he started to smile at me more and talk to me more than he has been. I'm being very careful not to do or say anything that will make him mad. I'm just afraid that one of my bad moods will show up and I won't be able to control it. Anyone who has suffered from depression knows that when it hits you, you can't even force yourself to feel any different. I am very happy and hopeful for our marriage, but I also feel it is unfair that I can't let my real feelings show without him getting mad. I still feel very lost and depressed about the fact that I can't get the one thing that I believe will help me. I have started getting things together for a yard sale I want to have some time this summer, but things are so bad for us right now that any money we make will probably have to go for necessities. If I could just get and keep a job, maybe we could pay off our debt and then I could get my TR done. I wish there was something I could do from home, but I'm not really good at anything. I've looked into the jobs where you take phone calls for companies and things like that, but their requirements are over my head. I just hope something changes for me soon. Thanks for listening.
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For the women here whose marriages and "self" are suffering from missing or low libido..as I heal from my TR and try to get my health and life back..I am using a supplement to help facilitate the return of my libido..and it is working for me!..Damiania is an herbal supplement you can get at health food stores. I strongly suggest you discuss this with a health practitioner first since no two women and their medical/health status are exactly the same and I have no idea if there are any issues with meds someone might be on..yada..yada.). I am not sure if it will be as much help when the hormones are still wildly "off" but it is worth a try for those who have not yet had the TR or who feel they cannot get a TR. There are also some "fertility blend" supplements out there to help keep hormones in balance. You might want to look into those as well!...I will be starting those once they arrive next week..anything to speed up the healing!
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Thank You everyone for the support and ideas. I have cut out all drinks nothing but water and one glass of tea a day. I am addicted to tea so I will have to slowly move that.
Brenda, I am so sorry you are having these problems. I have been with my DH since I was 15. He is the only guy I ever went on a date with. I started living with him when I was 16/17. He tells people he raised me LOL. I don't know what I would do with out him. He doesn't want me to work but to get a TR I think I am going to, I have a AAS in accounting and Business Administration. To be able to keep my kids out of after school care and summer care I would love to find an online/work at home job. If anyone knows of any legit ones LOL.
I hope when I have a TR to have the same outcome as MOMZILLA. I would love to have another child but if God doesn't see fit I will be happy just to be me. I was once a very happy, carefree, outgoing person and now I hate to leave my house.
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