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Oh, Brenda..I so feel for you because my husband and I went through this too. You feel so trapped and helpless sometimes..just stuck..treading water...is there anything you can do like go through your house and look for stuff to sell on e-bay, craigslist or a garage sale, etc. I know it would not net you a lot but every little bit helps toward your goal..I have started to do that just so I can pay back some of the money we depleted from our savings for the TR. I am not sure what you do but are there any "work from home" kinds of jobs you could try to find so you do not have the conflict with your husband's work/hours and can still make money? I am trying to think of some creative solutions for you..but he really needs to believe in you and support you too. The frustration is huge, I know...I wish I could come and tell him how much you love him and want to get back to him and your relationship. I know debt is VERY SCARY but, sometimes, you have to push the envolope..you cannot put a price on you, your health and your marriage..If the debt got worse then maybe you might HAVE to go back to work but then you would have already had your TR and be on the mend??. I hope that things turn around for you and that your husband realizes that you need to resolve this together, as partners. That is my sincere hope for you. Please keep me posted on how you are doing.
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Dannygirl, I hope you know how lucky you are to have a husband like yours. I suffer from mood swings, depression, fits of rage, and a long list of other symptoms since my TL. My relationship with my husband has suffered because of my sexual dysfunction that was caused by it. And now my husband is threatening divorce if I don't "snap out of it." I've tried to explain to him that I can't control it and I've read some of the testimonials to him about other women who suffer like I do and the ones who have found relief in TR. He acts like he halfway believes it, but says there's no way we can do it because we already have too much credit card debt. I agree with him, but feel that this is so important to our relationship that we need to find a way. Every time I bring it up, he says I need to get a job and help pay some bills before I make more debt. He's the one who told me to quit my job two years ago because he works nights and needs to sleep during the day, and he couldn't get enough sleep when I was working. (He doesn't want to put the kids in daycare, so he had to get up to watch them.) It is almost impossible for me to find a job that I can do that will not clash with his schedule. So I'm feeling lost and hopeless and I don't know what to do. And just recently my husband has started talking to a couple of people about our problems, and I'm sure that he is telling them that I am "unstable" because he keeps saying that to me. We live in a small town where there is a lot of gossip and if one person knows, the whole town probably knows. He says he has to talk to somebody or he will explode. We had a discussion last night and I pretty much got the idea that if I try to do this, we will be done. I've been so desperate lately that I've been looking at the sites where women offer to donate their eggs for a fee. People pay anywhere from $5,000. to $10,000. for that. But I don't think I could stand to know that I had a child out there somewhere that was being raised by someone else.
It is very hard for me to read about all the women who are finding relief from PTLS when I can't. I keep thinking that I should just stay away from here, but it's the only place where I can talk to people who understand what I'm going through.
Just know that you are very lucky to have such a great husband.
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Knowing THEN what I know now..I would have moved mountains to get this done sooner. I feel like I lost 3 years of my life. I have gained like 20 lbs since my last child/TL. I was like a total stranger living in someone else's broken body. The sudden improvements post TR scare me too. I keep feeling afraid that this is a tease and is temporary..but,..I will be 4 weeks post TR on Monday and I feel like "me" again: hoping, joking, minimal hair loss, less cramps, skin that is less dry, losing weight SLOWLY but the clothes are getting less tight, no sex aversion and I have been thinking about actually having it which has not happened in FOREVER, shorter period, less edgy with the PMS, more emotional whereas before I was like an emotionally closed off robot (hormones are back with a vengeance because I am also crying again!). Dannygirl, I know right now it seems like a mountain to climb with the weight loss, but try to just picture the end goal of being better and getting your life and just "you" back. You will never look back. I feel 200% better. I have been having my hormone levels tested becasue everyone chalks up my symptoms to the natural aging process (total denial of PTLS)and inching toward menopause (I am 43)..but my tests show I am completely fertile and normal so I need to exercise caution since we do no want more kids (we have 3) and did the TR for PTLS. Perhaps hooking up with others on the board through private e-mail exchanges will motivate you and give you a support system for the weight loss? There are many women out here who do that and support that goal for each other. Just know you will be in excellent hands at CH when you go for your TR. They know what they are doing and are doing it well!
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Tracey that's how it was with me, right off the bat I felt better about a week after TR I really noticed it. I couldn't beleive it. I went 7 years..... I don't know how on earth I dealt with it all so long. It's pretty instant as soon as that blood flow comes back to the tubes the ovaries are saying YAY!!
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Danny girl get that weight off and do it, I'm telling you I was where you are with the bleeding, the excessive bleeding and it is NOT good. Even though I lost my 1 tube, I'm still bleeding only 5 days. It's absolutely changed my life. I had no hair loss, but I can say I feel good now for sure. 8 months later!!!! Still 5 days.
You know I feel like slapping anyone who says there is no such thing as PTLS with maxi pads. LOLOLOL There is such a thing. Ask Kotex, I should've bought stock in them...... That bleeding is NO JOKE I was right there where you are and it was either TR or hysterectomy I had had ENOUGH!!!!! Your DH is right, you need it now not later. Enough is enough. Bleeding like that is causing your body a huge stress everymonth leaving you weak and susceptible..... Get it together chicky eat NO FAT/LOW FAT go for a walk every day, you can do it!!! I know you can, you'll be soooo happy you did I promise! How overweight are you?? I know it's a personal question, I'm like 30lbs overweight but I could still get it done. It will be the best decision you've made I'm very happy with it, I've lost 2 babies but I'm not hemorraging every month you know?
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I am still only 3 weeks post TR but already that doomy edgy haze has lifted, my skin is less dry and I have more energy. I am not finding as much hair in my sink either...I also had less cramping with my first period. I just feel lighter and more hopeful that I have turned the corner.
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Dannygirl- I'm 28 with 4 kids and I understand what you mean by feeling like time's running out. I think it's not that it's really running out. First off, we may have had our kids young, but we still have that biological clock and TL or not, it still keeps ticking! Second, the symptoms of PTLS have made me feel so trapped in my own body that it's almost like being caged and feeling an urgency to get out... like being suffocated. I suffer Adrenal Exhaustion, and sometimes I feel like my body is just shutting down. Hang in there, and be strong with the weight loss. It will so pay off! My naturopath took me off yeast and sugar to help migraines... no bread or sweets... and I lost 35 pounds! I didn't even think about the weight loss. So, sometimes just cutting a few things keeps it simple but reaps big rewards.
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Miranda I have three kids and I just turned 27 so I guess I don't have to be in a hurry but I feel like time is running out for some reason. I want relief from the depressed feeling and hair loss, I have 2 week AF and cramping the whole time, want to sleep 24/7 and on and on. DH says I need it now but everyone knows the weight has to be low. Thanks for listening, Danielle
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Nice to meet you Danielle. I will be praying for you as you work on your BMI. I hope you will be setting your big day before you know it. I told my family that it was the best thing to do. I feel so great that even if I never have a baby I am still glad I had this done. Don't get me wrong we are praying for a baby. This is our first cycle trying after surgery in March. Hope you have a great day. Miranda
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Thanks Miranda I hope I can have a TR with in the next year but now am dieting to get BMI down to 34. I have a long way to go but to hear other success stories gives me the will power to diet. Oh my name is Danielle
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Hi my name is Miranda and I had my TR on March-24-08. I feel so much better after having the surgery. My cycles are shorter and not as painful. I love it. my hair was coming out bad but now it is nothing like before. I wish you all the best as you go for surgery. We are now TTC and I am 4 DPO so we will see what this cycle holds.
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I have my TR on Wednesday of next week and its to conceive but most of all to get rid of this trouble PTLS that I have mood swings,cramping,depression,you name it I have it.Just hang in there things will get better.
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After you had your TR did your hair start to get thicker. Before TL I had very thick hair now it is so thin, it has been almost 8 years since my TL and the hair loss is getting progressively worse I think. Thanks
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