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Good Afternoon All. I dont post too much on this board but would like to put my thoughts in here as well.
This is how I see it, Berta8133 is not saying that one can not have God in their life, as a matter of fact, it is good, but a lot of women in general do not want to constantly see references to God....not they are not religious or 'believe', just that this forum is not for that.
I personally have read many comments on 'general threads' (not home threads)Give to god, look to God etc. I am sure there are equal share women that WANT to read that, as to those that do NOT. I am a firm believer of the saying that everything happens for a reason in this world, but I do feel that too many on here 'extend' their beliefs of God into general conversation of TTC ON general threads. I have read 'home threads' where references to God were done and it isn't a problem, the problem is generally speaking on a general thread about references to God. As One poster said on another thread not to long ago "too many suggesting if you DONT have god, you will have nothing and that means a lot of things including the baby most desired. Anyone turning to God in their life...CAN. I see where each are coming from in their comments, I just think some posters should take into consideration others when posting about any reference to God, as some people are offended. Time and place.
BACK to the topic, I have not scheduled for surgery yet, but when I do, to me it does not matter who knows. I personally do not care what anyone thinks. My life, my body, my money, my choice.
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First of all, I said IF to Gillyardhsg--so IF she wasn't saying that then obviously what I said doesn't apply.....if she was talking about God...wouldn't she want to know the scripture that says otherwise, I was pointing her to the resource (the Bible) & the appropriate book to find why I disagree...What's wrong with that?
Second....I never said to leave or that you can't post about God or what motivates you, in fact, that is exactly what I said you should do...my only suggestion was to not speak in terms of WE because not all are believers on this board.... Did you even read the scripture, what is your argument with that? It seems your reponse is an emotional one....It would be sad for you to leave in anger (that was never my intent) but your able to make your own decisions......
Funny, you have no problem correcting others & telling them to 'get over it' but when someone dares to step up and challenge you...well, you run... There really is no need for that....Dr. B's board is big enough for everyone, didn't you saythe board is to voice opinions, right.....
JMO-I don't see why you would need to apologize for anything...you said what you needed to say...great...I'm not angry & you seemed to try to put me in my place..now lets get over it.....
(sigh) you completely missed the point of my post......
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I think when those of us who speak about God's Will we are actually calming ourselves and/or validating our on actions OR lack of actions. I do see a lot of "God's Will be done" But I never really see people being judged for NOT being Christian.
IMO it is fine to talk about what motivated us in our actions. Afterall that is a part of what the board is for. WHen I say God's Will be done, it refers to the fact that I will not "force" pregnancy through any form. So when I state that, I am sending a message that Clomid, IUI, the Metho shot, and other methodes are NOT an option for me. SO my journey may be longer than others OR I may never conceive.I say God's will be done because I am not taking any other actions to conceive.
Our journeys are all different, we are here to share them. What else is the list for. You can find TR and related info on the WWW, with private searches. A public forum is just that...and the public is comprisedof all kinds, even Christians..
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After consideration of my last post (which I wrote earlier and posted after contemplation), I do believe I'll step aside and no longer post here. In all honesty, as a devoted wife and homeschooling mother, my hands should never be idle here-even if for a moment. It's probably best!
You are right Lisa, this is not a Christian board. You won't have to worry about me, and you won't feel the need to correct me any further. I am in the Word, and I pray for guidance to be a Proverbs 31, Titus 2 woman. However, that also means I put God first, which isn't just a show on Sunday, but a daily and hourly focus.
So, thank you to those with whom I could discuss things without chastisement for the glory being given to God. Best of "luck" to you all. I hope you have all the outcomes that you desire. I truly do wish you all the very best, in love. Have a blessed day.
In Christ,
Andrea
For the few wonderful friends I've made in the very short time I've been here, please feel free to reach me at sinnerforgiven at live dot com. I'd love to hear from you and keep in touch with what is going on in your lives!
I didn't intend to rebuke anyone. I don't expect anyone to believe as I do. I simply wish to be allowed to discuss tubal ligation, reversal, and how some of us get through the journey. Perhaps your interpretation of pride is anyone who stands up for their faith? I have nothing on which to be prideful of-I boast in Christ alone, for He has saved my soul.
It's interesting that you had no trouble telling another poster to get out their Bible and read Job. Is that a rebuke? I'm just a simply Bible believer who wishes to be allowed to speak His name without fear. I don't intend to discuss theology with anyone here...just give God credit where credit is due. However, you have now corrected my theology and another poster. Perhaps that's too much Christianity for this board? I was simply giving God the glory when I was chastised by Berta for doing so.
If people don't wish to discuss, believe or agree with anyone on their views of Christ and God, then they most certainly are free in that choice! However, it was Berta who called out us who are "preaching" when we discuss relying on God.
I won't discuss it any further, but if anyone thinks that some of us are going to pretend that we are in ultimate control of how many children we have, or become bitter or angry over not having more children, they are wrong. If anyone thinks we will keep quiet about how integral Christ is to our daily lives and thus reflect that in all discussions some of us will not.
I can't speak for others, but for me, it is impossible to leave Christ out of any discussion, whether it is TL, TR, health, marriage, parenting, finances, the future, etc. Unfortunately, that may not sit well with all people. Perhaps I shouldn't be on a board that expects that.
I do appreciate you trying to correct me, but a rebuke is actually something that is reserved for fellow Christians. I don't claim to know anyone's heart on this board, but when someone is complaining about "preaching about giving things over to God" my guess is that they may not want to hear about Him...thus, it isn't a "Christian rebuke", but rather a declaration that one will continue to discuss Christ in their lives, even if other's don't also believe the same. I do humbly apologize if I offended.
I do apologize if anything I said was harsh. I was reacting to pretty much being told that discussing our reliance on Christ is preaching, and unwelcome, and that doing so means we should all have the children we desire. I do not apologize for His name, however.
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Oh and Andrea---You should delete that post to Berta--......Rebukes are to be done WITH LOVE -& honestly, I'm not feeling the love there----only pride.....
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I'm going to post this as gently as I can....I know it'll probably be deleted but....
Gillyardhsg-were you speaking about God when you said this..............
...I understand what your putting out there. It is true that some things are not in his control either. The devil can be really busy. ...
Are you saying there are things out of God's control? If that is what you are saying I have to strongly disagree.....open your Bible and read Job.......even satan must GET PERMISSION for that which he is allowed to do.....Don't be mistaken, NOTHING is out of God's control.....
Having said that HISWILL---Do you think this is a christian board??? It is NOT, YOU must choose your words more carefully than all others, since you have chosen to take on the name of Christ in EVERY POST.....Now, before you get offended, read 1Corinthians 2:14........In light of this...(& other scriptures which I could reference but will not assuming this will be enough)be careful how you address the writers on this board, you can't expect others to know what you are talking about when you speak of Christ & His changing love because they just won't get it.....they can't get it....not until they 'get' him.... I'm not saying don't talk about Christ, or don't tell of his love, (we are, in fact, called to do so..)just suggesting that maybe you should speak of what Christ has done for you....not relating it to what other should or shouldn't do....maybe not say 'we' when speaking of trusting God.....because clearly not everyone on here trusts God.......& those who know me...Berta! know I'm not going to back down when it comes to acknowledging what God has done & who Christ is in my life......I would never tell another Christian to back down...that is NOT what I'm saying here....Just don't expect everyone to share your views & don't post like everyone understands you.....they don't.....& for all the other Christians reading and posting here.....Stop getting sooo offended......Don't wear your hearts on your sleeves.....For goodness sake- we have a greater hope, a purpose that we are called to & allowing those who don't agree with us to offend us...Well, get ready to live your lives in 'offended mode' because we are in the world but not of it......Come on Ladies.....Let's live 1 Peter 2:23---We have that example.....
Now I know I've just 'hit the hive' so to speak & the swarm of controversy is coming......
But, I feel up to it.....LOL
Oh & about keeping tr a secret....we told a few people and kept it from a few....My bfp--we told some in our church (to ask them to pray) but kept it from most--it's not easy to have an e/c pg--& to constantly be talking about it....it not easy....so.....that's what we've done...take it one day at a time....one situation at a time...
Get used to it. Those of us who live for Christ will never stop speaking His name.
Additionally, giving it to God means that you don't always get your way. In fact, giving it to God means you REALIZE HE is in control, and that no matter how badly you want something, that you may not get YOUR wants, because HE knows what you NEED.
If you don't like the idea of God in people's lives, that's fine, but please don't have your own false interpretation of what it means to rely upon Him. Have a blessed day, and I pray you will find peace, as many of your posts seem angry and unsettled.
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Staci I hope you are doing good!! OMG you just had another EP????? Email me if you want anytime, you know I'm here if you want to talk I didn't know you had another one. Anyway I'm here for you girly. I'm so sorry to hear that. I wish we lived closer to each other I could help you out a little bit with the slack.... I know how it is. Anyway, I'm thinking of you.
You are so right about what you said, I got a call from my ex's mom yesterday, it started out, So are you pregnant yet?? She's a really great lady though I love her. Honestly she's a better MIL than my actual MIL. She's very loving and a good hearted person. I do love her!! Of course not though, I'm not preg yet.... LOL it's really hard w/ 1 tube..... I get very few chances to try!
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Berta Im quite offended by your remark. I do believe people have the right to praise god for their blessings and seek him if they choose for guidance and continued blessings. Im sorry that you getting sick of hearing "giving to god" and to some their faith in GOD is a very personal thing and should not be discounted by ANYONE. I have a strong belief in GOD and thank him everyday for my salvation that I have. GOD is so good to all and to some on here its all they HAVE!
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Just to add some flavor to the comments here. I myself have a set of twin girls 9 and a 12 yr old girl through marriage I have a step son, in which we don't see or bond with the way we would like. (DRAMA) Any how my husband and I had a serious financial battle with getting the funding together for the TR after 2yrs of planning and financial preparing we are sch for July 14th. We both are excited. My mom, brother, father, children and some of DH side are happy for us and all are praying it's a healthy procedure and beautiful blessing to have another little one. (boy). Blessed if it's either boy or girl. Told many co workers and some thin conversations with strangers. My way of thinking is, if your not happy or excited for self . No one else will be. I will tell the world if I could and would care less of what they think. As long as my husband and children are with the idea of extending our family, no one else really matter. Bertha8133, I think it is really rude to shut down others people way of keeping them sane. Truth be told GOD does has the final say in everything. On another level I understand what your putting out there. It is true that some things are not in his control either. The devil can be really busy. Also, some of us ladies has to also make extreme life changes. Stress, the way we eat, the way we thing, and the amount of concentration we put into it can cause these upsetting things to happy to us. My word of advice, if your having the TR done. Planning ahead is wonderful. Clocking ovulation is fun and the trying part is better, but don't make it a 9-5 job. It can discourage the mind and body.
Blessing to me and DH and all you ladies who are trying or will be trying.
God is a powerful god he protect us and teaches us as HIS children.
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I'm quite sick of hearing 'give to God'....if that were the case..every PERSON on here would have that baby. Seems like everytime there is a post on something...someone is preaching God ALL OVER This board....
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Thank heavens I'm not counting on a baby then! It sounds pretty grim! I'm looking to right my body with God and for PTLS relief. If it is God's will we have another, it will be welcome, though!
I went to my OB appt today, and my doc said (and he does TR a lot) based on my overall health, age, type of TL, length since surgery, prior fertility, and tube lengths, I should have a well over 80% chance of conceiving (if we were aiming for that) and the usual chances of m/c. He said my ectopic rate would be about 10%. I wonder how other ladies are being counseled by their own OB, since this sounds pretty reassuring for someone in my shoes who would be TTC.
I'm just glad this is given over to God. I can't imagine how hard it would be to be among those who feel like they are failures.
However, I'm still drawn to this page: Pregnancy outcomes which lists out actual outcomes via different methods, lengths, age, etc.
My chances (and that's all we can be experts on-ourselves) seem pretty good if I were going to actively TTC. So, in a nutshell, I just want to remind ALL ladies here to PLEASE do your research, and understand these are ALL individual cases! You cannot dispute the pregnancy results stats.
I don't desire anyone to stop posting because others choose to hope! It doesn't mean the hopeful, are ignorant of the chances, though. In fact, the pregnancy outcomes page listed above STILL shows many women having BETTER odds of having a successful pregnancy (or more) than not!
Have hope! If God intends for there to be another baby, and you have taken steps to allow Him to work in your life by offering up your reproductive health to Him, then you have nothing but hope for His will to include another child. While it may not happen, despite how much you may want it, the comfort and peace is in knowing that have handed it over.
If you are not pregnant, and wish to be, I am so very sorry. I can't imagine how hard that must be. I have suffered a loss, so I can understand and relate to that particular heartache. However, one must wonder if the m/c would have occurred anyway absent of a TL and TR? I know I had one at the beginning of my 2nd trimester in the prime of my fertile years, without any prior losses, e/p or pelvic surgery.
God is still good all the time.
Let's all be realistic, and honest with ourselves about our chances. At the same time, let's think about the fact that anyone here who has had a TR has the possibility of conceiving. God can do anything. I don't think after researching this, any of us are ignorant to facts, and having hope does not make that the case.
In Christ,
Andrea
Me-30 Dh-36 DS-11 DS-nearly 6 DD-nearly 5 DD-3
TL 4/19/05-Filshie clips at 2nd c-section TR 7/30/08
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Kim, Please don't be offended and not post. It's hard for the sisters that are just beginning and the ones that have already had successful pregnancies to understand what you're saying. I agree completely that most do not have the magical happy ending that they went into this counting on. I'm sure we all went into surgery thinking that we'd have to trouble getting pregnant and that within a year we'd be bringing home a new baby and the fact is it just doesn't happen that way for most people and it's easier to keep the reversal private so that there is no added stress from friends and family who mean well but could never understand the stress of ttc and having to results. It DOES make the stress worse when everytime you see someone they're asking you if you're pregnant yet and when people ask you if you think you should have just spent the money on IVF instead of TR. That's just my two cents.
Lots of Love Staci TR 3-7-06 L/R - 5cm each
ectopic July07 ruptured tube and 3 days in the hosp. ectopic Dec.07 2 meth shots ectopic June08 3 meth shots
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
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know I'm not going to back down when it comes to acknowledging what God has done & who Christ is in my life......I would never tell another Christian to back down...that is NOT what I'm saying here....Just don't expect everyone to share your views & don't post like everyone understands you.....they don't.....& for all the other Christians reading and posting here.....Stop getting sooo offended......Don't wear your hearts on your sleeves.....For goodness sake- we have a greater hope, a purpose that we are called to & allowing those who don't agree with us to offend us...Well, get ready to live your lives in 'offended mode' because we are in the world but not of it......Come on Ladies.....Let's live 1 Peter 2:23---We have that example.....
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