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Thanks Jill. I am hoping to schedule for end of Feb beginning of March. I want to do it sooner but both of my kiddos birthday are in Nov. Plus all the holidays and stuff, I just can't miss those, so in Feb there is nothing going on that I can't miss and March is my birthday month so this will be like a very expensive birthday gift for my self. LOL Counting down the months right now and can't wait til I am counting down the days!!!!
Hang in there! There are so many of us here that understand what you are going through! It will get so much better after your surgery. I actually feel blessed in a way to have gone through this and overcome it b/c I feel like now I take nothing for granted. I know what if felt like to have had my health taken from me...and given back. I warn everyone that will listen about the dangers that are possible with a TL, so I feel like I am giving back by at least warning others through my experiences. I also really worried myself about my surgery getting cancelled or something crazy happening to my kids and my surgery just not happening as a result. My anxiety was just through the roof! Looking back, I see how irrational I was but couldn't help it. Try to keep your mind in a happy place and know that CHTRC is well organized and will take awesome care of you.
All I can say is have Faith and just come here and read or vent when you need to.
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As I sit here with a headache I can totally relate to having PTLS!!!!! I never knew that all this crap that I am going through was because of PTLS. I too thought I was just going crazy!!! I am so thankful I found this site and now realize what I have been dealing with can be reversed and never dealt with again!!! My symptoms are like that of everyone else's! I have been suffering from headaches that knock me out where I have to sit in the dark and silence which helps but does not make it go away, depression, high anxiety!!!! My boobs hurt for a whole week before my period and during that week I have to wear my bra to bed because the second I take it off they hurt soooo bad!!!! They are not huge boobs or anything they are a 34C and have never hurt this bad in my life!!! The cramping and blood clots are even worse with each period I get!!! I get car sick now as well which I could never understand until the day I got on here and found out. It really sucks that I have been dealing with all this crap for the last 6 years because of a stupid surgery that I never should have had! I am going to be so grateful the day I can finally schedule my surgery and know that one day I will be healed and everything will be ok. Even the thought of possibly having a baby in my future makes me happy and some of the depression is gone now because now I know what was causing it can be fixed!!! I have so many more symptoms going on but this is just part of it. I am so nervous though that the day I go for my surgery I will get sick and throw up and they will cancel the surgery. That's how bad my anxiety is! It is really horrible and I can't wait for it to be over!!!! April
The TR has been a triple blessing for me. The PTLS is fading away each week since my surgery (July 19th), I feel whole again, and I know that in the future we can TTC again if we wish.
Your story sounds like so many others here. I had the severe anxiety and depression as well. I've been amazed (and so have others) about the complete turnaround I have made since surgery. I am always outside playing with the kids, in fact, I have lost almost 8 lbs just b/c I am not sitting on the couch all day depressed! My pain is gone and my migraines are also (with the exception of 1 or 2 around AF time which is normal for me) and that beats the heck out of having them every single day!
I also had severe driving anxiety and that is gone now. That was horrible. I would cancel going anywhere and had no life outside of my home. I would only go to things my kids needed or were invited to and suffered panic attacks on the way there. I did it for them, not for me. The PTLS destroyed my life for 3 years. Docotors didn't beleive me, but CHTRC believes you. Thank God for this place. They will take good care of you!!
Hope you can get your surgery soon! When you look back on it, you will wonder how you got through it all. What didn't kill me, made me stronger. It was seriously God's grace and mercy that got me through each day.
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Thank you Jill for starting this topic!! And thank you everyone who has shared a story or experience. If it was not for me finding this site I would probably have gone another few years not knowing what PTLS was. I too am a migraine sufferer. I spent 3 day in the hospital a month after my last child was born because of a migraine that was so severe I could not even lift my head up. And also because of a urinary tract infection that had spread to my kidneys. I had no syptoms or pains of the infection at all. I spent a total of 11 days with this migraine before the doc prescribed me Relpax. It worked!!! My experinece with PTLS is horrifying as well. I thought that maybe I was a little depressed or something until I found you guys. I would be sitting on the couch and get up to go to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee and as soon as I stood up I forgot what I had gotten up to go do. I would lay my phone on the table right in front of me and and forget that it was there. I would go all through the house looking for it. Driving is bad. I am a good driver have never had not even so much as a parking ticket. Right before I get in the car I get a very tingly anxious feeling and it does not feel good. I am so tense and scared the entire time I am in the car whether I am the one driving or not. There was an incident on the school bus w/one of my kids so I went to the school the next day to talk w/ the principal and while talking to him I got that anxious feeling and I felt myself peeing. This is just so unbelievable. I am sitting here in tears because for the last 3 years of having my tubes tied I feel bad really really bad. I am not able to feel how I used to my kids have noticed a huge change in me and they ask me why I dont want to go outside, why I dont want to play catch, and why am I so scared when i am driving. I have deprived my husband of the affection he so truly deserves. I want to give him what he needs but I cant =[ I am scared for my mom to cross the street because I think she will get hit by a car and she just lives right across the street from me. I would rather be on the couch all day if I could than be outside in the sunshine. I feel like a hermit crab. Before my TL my house was always spotless, now its just clean. I could get up with no problem get the kids off to school run all my errands clean the house and not have a single bit of worry. Now its hard to just get out of bed. The cramping is so bad that I curl up in a ball and just lay there. My breasts are sore for a week before AF that I cant wear a bra. I have no libido at all. My husband is lucky if its 1 time a month. I thought for a long time that this was normal and that it would go away but when everyone around me started noticing changes I started looking into it and that how I came across this site and I am thankful for that. I am thankful that I found you guys. Maybe this is gods sign for me that I found this place. I just want to be normal again and feel like a woman and not like a piece of crap everyday. I think this is the right path for me. Otherwise I dont think I would have found this site. I have read some stories and have cried because of how the TR changes that persons life. I want to do this not so much because I want another child but more because I want to feel like my old self again. I want to laugh, to be able to make everyone else laugh like I use to, I want to have confidence in myself to not be scared to do things. I dont want to live like this anymore. You woman are inspiring, courageous, kind, and brave. And I cant wait for the day I can have my surgery and feel like a woman.
I was relieved when I *finally* ran into a doctor..my Reproductive Endocrinologist who was testing me for this and that. Once everything was ruled out, I asked if it could be my TL. She said yes and she'd heard of women complaining of these symptoms following TL before and she believed in it. I gave her a lot of literature to read from another site that explained the possible theories behind WHY it occurs and she thanked me and made copies of it. I also gave that same literature to my PCP and OBGYN. Though I am not sure they accepted it as well as her.
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I actually heard some "good" news regarding this the day after my surgery. Some docs are taking PTLS seriously! At least here in Maine they are! The day I was having my surgery my mother was getting her hair done and she mentioned where I was and her hairdresser knew about the place and Dr B - because her doc referred her to this site for her probable PTLS symptoms! She had a tubal just over a year ago and although it seems her symptoms are mild at this point she is definitely considering it! So maybe - just maybe - it is coming into acceptance!!
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Hi everyone! I've been on here off and on through the years. I want to have my surgery soooo bad. I would love to conceive again but mainly I would love to get back to being "regular". I have had HORRIBLE, Scarring acne since my tubal, as well as weight gain, hair growth, etc (sorry TMI). I just saw an article about PCOS and it fits my symptoms to the T. Have any of you thought about the connection? Congrats Jill!
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Thanks Dee...and Whitney!! I have just raved and raved about you & so has my DH. You took such great care of me and everyone there...you are a great nurse! You made me feel so comfortable from the moment I walked in & back out of that place! Thanks for making the experience so wonderful.
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Jill, I hope there is light at the end of the tunnel for you! It was a pleasure taking care of you. Looking forward to hearing more improvements after your TR surgery. Wishing you the best! Whitney, RN
I will keep you all updated on my progress. I also suffered for more than 3 years, so I am prepared for it to take a few cycles to continue healing me. I just about fell over when I saw my cheeks today. That angry red was just gone. I also feel happy. I can't explain it. It might be b/c I know I have a chance to recover now. But I know what you mean about that gloom and doom being gone. I felt like a fog was cleared from my head and I had clarity in life again when I got up this morning. And the glow that people are seeing might just be b/c I feel so happy inside, which has been so long!
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Jill, I hope you heal quickly. The very first thing I noticed in my hotel room was the "black cloud of doom" not looming over me when I woke up from napping after surgery. From there it took 12 weeks to lose all of my symptoms. Enjoy your "re-birth" and don't get frustrated if healing takes some time. PTLS is a lot of trauma to recover from..For me, 3 yrs of PTLS misery took 3 months to be gone! Glad you are seeing positive effects already.
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Dee, you are so right in how badly PTLS is ignored! It's hard to believe that they counsel for weight loss surgery, but not a bit of counseling before your tubes get cut, burnt or clipped. Such a good point!
Tracy, you are so right! As much as I would never want to wish PTLS on anyone, it probably will take a rich & famous person or a politicians wife to suffer from it for it to really get any kind of attention.
By the way, I had my surgery on Monday and it was successful. Dr M did a great job! I also thought I would mention this... For the last 3 years and 4 months, and well, 19 days, I would get in the shower in the morning and come out and my cheeks would be BRIGHT RED, like rosacea. it took hours for them to "tone down" enough that I could cover the rest of it with makeup. No doctor could diagnose or explain this to me.
Today, I woke up in the Residence Inn Chapel Hill and wanted a good hot shower before my nurse came in to check my dressing. I get out and guess what? My cheeks were of NORMAL skin tone. My DH nearly fell over. He said I have a glow to me he has not seen in years. When I got home, my mom said "wow, you have a glow"...so it must not be my DH's imagination.
Just my first small testimony of how real PTLS is, and how in such a short time, my body is trying to fix itself.
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The only thing my MD told us about potential side effects of TL was that the tubes could re-attach naturally. My husband's reponse was "that is not a side effect so much as a complete surgical failure". I still cannot really understand why so many women are devastated with PTLS symptoms to the point of being nearly debilitated while others do not experience anything at all. The human body is a curious thing, indeed! Until someone rich, famous and/or political has a family member stricken with PTLS..I fear nothing will get done!..You know if Michelle Obama got it, we'd have a new law in 24 hrs with a month long waiting period with counseling and PTLS pamphlets prior to MDS being permitted to perform TLs.
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