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I cannot offer any advice, as I just found this board and suffer the same as you. I can understand worring about getting into the gun closet, as I feel the same way (although I own no guns). But I do skydive as a sport and havn't jumped in 10 months because i'm afraid of not pulling. I even told my gyn that. It only takes 12 seconds of 'bravery' before I hit the ground from my normal pull altitude. I told her all this and begged for help, so far with no avail. She sent me for blood work for my hormones and did an ultrsound to see why i'm bleeding clots so much, but havn't heard anything back. I just want you to know i'm there with )*n and its not all in your head.
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mrsspchelms... I completely understand. Of the 44 or so PTLS symptoms I have 38 of them. I am almost bedridden most days and if I didn't know better I would say that my body is shutting down and I am dying. When I found out about PTLS I sat here and cried. DH really thought that I had lost it. I was so relieved that there was an explanation for what was going on, and that it had a cure without a lot of medication that had more side affects than what I was dealing with in the first place. I prayed about what to do. I have 3 small kids and my husband is a pastor. He has had to do everything including taking care of me. I was desperate to get my life back. I sent out a letter to all of my friends and family about what was going on with me and what I needed. From the time I found out about PTLS to the time of my surgery, this Wednesday, was only about 7 weeks. It was a God thing. A lot of my friends and family donated to help me with this surgery. My grandmother actually gave me a loan for the entire amount for my surgery and then I am paying her back. She knew what I was going through and did not want me to have to wait till I got all the money. She wanted to get me better and then worry about the money later. I would say get the word out there. Let your friends and family know what is going on and let them know about PTLS, etc. Maybe some people will help like they helped me. I will be praying for you. If you break it down and get Dr. M, then you only need $5,400. Which if you can get 54 people to help you with $100 dollars each then you will have it. Anything is possible. God Bless You and everything is going to be okay! Heather
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None of us was informed, half the doctors laugh when you mention that you think you have PTLS because they just want to put you on hormone therapy, our poor husbands love us so much but are at a loss of what to do.
I remember telling my husband, when we were engaged, "If I ever get ugly with menopausal symptoms, just shoot me and put me out of everyone's misery." We laughed about it then. I had no idea about peri-menopause or PTLS. With either one you cannot say, "The devil made me do it!" They are both very real and we have no control and it is scary because in our mind we know something is wrong, but we cannot control our emotions or behavior.
May God bless all those that love us so much that they continue to walk on eggshells, and may He guide us to our own personal healing.
I am day 4 post TR. I awoke with a smile on my face. I am happy. I am happy inside. I am sure that TR is going to make a world of difference for me.
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You are not alone and even something as simple as your DH reading all these posts and the blogs can possibly make a giant leap in saving your marriage. My husband married me knowing this is how I am, he's never seen me without PTLS, well not since we were kids. He feels alone and like he has to walk on egg shells half the month because of my moods, it was destroying us, even though it had always been this way, and he married me regardless. I sat him down the day I found this site and made him read it all. He's been a different person. He knows that I can't help it and that it isn't his fault now. I'm not just making excuses for treating him like crap, or yelling at the kids over something dumb. I'm more ashamed of that than how I can treat him, but it's like I have a monster in my body that takes control 3 out of the 4 weeks. we're here for you, but in the meantime, find someone to talk to that can help. medication is not a bad thing, it could very well get you threw while you save up money. and sooner or later the medical community will get a clue and step up and own up to the fact that this procedure is ruining our lives and maybe sooner or later women can at least make this choice will all the info available and it will stop happening so often. take care.
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Mrsspchelms, please do not feel alone. I have gone through much of the same thing for the past 5 years. My best friend who also got a TL the same year as me is also having a lot of trouble with PTLS. We are both planning a TR this year and both are always on the message board. But PLEASE don't feel alone. There are many women here who I'd bet would love to chat back and forth in those moments you feel as though you can't take it anymore, that is what this board is all about. It's a shame that PTLS is not more recognized and explained when being consulted to have a TL. Best of luck and all my prayers and thoughts to you and your family. Keep your head up, the rain will stop and the sun will rise.
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Thank you Ladies for all the support you have given me. I really appreciate. I do feel in my heart that you guys are here with me in this! Thank you!
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mrsspchelms, You have found the place to be! I suffer from this ugly evil crushing PTLS... I get completely taken down 14-21 days a month... I am very lucky if I get 5-7 days of no pain or tears but the rest is with me 24/7... The women that have had their TR's have given me so much hope! I finally have my TR scheduled for 02.16 - the cost is huge but so worth it. It sounds like your financial situation is similar to mine - this is what I did... I went to my bank branch and sat down with the manager - told her what I was going through and that I needed to save some money but every time I turned around something was happening and I had to spend it. She let me open an account that was basically a secured credit card account. I had to make payments every month as if it was a bill... sometimes I only put in $30 but others I did $100 or more - it took a long time to build but I did it. I don't know if this is an option for you but it helped me thinking of it as a bill that had to be paid instead of just putting money aside for it. Everyone here has been wonderful - I have only been posting for about a week and have felt 200% better emotionally all due to these women and the staff at CHTRC - vent whenever you need to because I certainly do and it helps!! Many Hugs, ~LA
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Mrsspchelms--I am very concerned about you. If you truly feel that you will find yourself at your husband's gun cabinet you need to talk to someone now. Please call the National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-TALK. They can help you work through these feelings. Please do this now and let us know how you are doing. We really care about you. Sally,RN
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It will happen for you. Please keep the faith. It sounds like you have gone through some really rough times and has made you stronger. I'm very sorry for what you have had to endure and also have PTLS on top of that. I definately 100% agree with Momzilla about seeking counseling to help you get through this. It is really important to take care of yourself and if the TR is a little more the future then you need to seek help in other ways for now. We are definately here for you whenever you need us. We all know what you are going through. It really helps to know that you are not alone.
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I have been trying over and over to try and save for a tubal reversal. Seems like every time I do something stands in my way or something unexpected happens. Like in 2004, I found out that my father had been brutally murdered and had to take the money I have saved and put it towards proper burial expenses. Started saving again after that and when I almost had all the money my Mom had a stroke and was hospitalized. I had to pay to have her placed in a facility so she could be taken care of. I had to pay over 4,000 for that until her insurance kicked in. Then soon after that I was laid off from my job because the economy is so bad. I am having to pay to go back to school so I can try to make something better out of myself. So it's and never ending battle. I'm sorry to vent you Ladies. But I really do want this tubal reversal. It would be the biggest gift I can give myself. I want to be better. I really do!
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Do not be embarassed. This is something that is out of your control. It is your body and it systems betraying you..Do not beat yourself up. None of us were properly informed or knew the potential side effects and consequences of our choice to have a TL. We never would have had TLs if we were advised about PTLS. It is not your fault..If you are really struggling badly with depression and are afraid you might do harm to yourself please please please talk to a doctor or counselor. You need to get some help pulling yourself back up emotionally until you can get the physical relief from your symptoms. I printed some of the postings here and took them to my doctor just to show what other women were experiencing. She is still not what I would call a "true believer" but she did support me in having my TR and is happy that I have found relief from my 3 years of symptoms and I have also found peace and re-connected with my husband and kids..just knowing that your symptoms can be alleviated by a TR may help make this better for you, at least, emotionally. I felt like I had a black cloud over me 24/7 after my TL..It is a horrible feeling..You can also read my PTLS blog story and journey to healing on the blog section of this website. The darkness was actually the first thing that lifted after TR...all my other 22 or so symptoms left me over the course of 4 months. My periods wer back to normal with virtually no flooding any more by the 5 month mark but they did get slightly better each month after TR..YOU ARE NOT ALONE...PTLS is real but you can get relief. There are many wonderful women here who have shared your pain and have come out on the other side..whole again...please have faith that you will be one one them. Show your husband the blogs on PTLS and some of the postings here so he will also understand. I did that with mine and it was like a "eureka" for him. He supported me 100% and was amazed that all my symptoms were from my TL..We had to take money from savings to do the TR but it was worth every penny. I will be paying our acct back for a few years but you cannot put a price on your health and your life. You will be in excellent hands at CH if you have a TR there. Everyone is caring and knowledgeable. There are tops in TR so I would not go anywhere else. Do not hesitate to post here when you need an ear and I hope you will seek some local help to help get you back on solid ground emotionally as you try to make your decision about TR and move toward overall healing. Friends and family are great to lean on but a trained counselor or doctor can help get you to a more stable place and help you find the strength to pick yourself up and try to function as best you can until you can rid yourself of your PTLS once and for all. Please keep us posted and we are all here for you.
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I hope you can have your tr soon and get some relief...I too suffered side effects from my tl...ever since I had my tr also in 06' I feel like a new woman...or truely my old self again. Many doctor think its nonsense and just want to put you anti depressants. I am pregnant with my first tr baby and every time I go for my check up the doctor asks me "so are we having a tubal after this one?"...I'm like no been there done that and told them about my side effects before and after and they all say wow what a coincidence...there is no such thing as ptls...but those of us that are going through it or went throught it know its not in our heads! I actually had to have a D&C six months after having my tubes tied becasause I never stopped bleeding! It was a temporary fix...then I had a period (also a monster flow....changed a tampon every 20-30 minutes) every 3 weeks or so or it wouldn't show for 2 months and then I would have it for a month long. It was miserable...I went back to my 28 day cycle after tr! Please have your dh read with you...Dr. M and Dr. B take this very seriously. Good Luck! Michelle TR 3-6-06 EDD 3-9-09
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Please allow your DH to read our posts..that is the first thing I did when I came across this board 3 years ago. I too had severe PTLS and had a TR in 06 for this reason. I am a new woman and from the very first AF I was returning to my normal self. I NO longer have my symptoms and a TR can rid you of these and give you your life back. Best of wishes, Blessings, Christie
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I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. It is miserable and you sound to have a very severe case of it. I did a blog for Dr. M...you can find it and read it and that's what I was feeling. I first researched this site to have a TR for a baby, but found in the search that PTLS is real...I couldn't believe what I was reading.
You need to let your dh read these things and the symptoms. You are not alone. Please know that. And, now that I am a few months from having my TR...I am feeling much better. It really has improved my symptoms. I was on several meds from symptoms you have described and I am on NO meds now. My cycles are much better, less painful and less flow.
I pray you are able to get the TR and feel better. We are all here for support. Blessings to you.
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I was so relieved that there was an explanation for what was going on, and that it had a cure without a lot of medication that had more side affects than what I was dealing with in the first place. I prayed about what to do. I have 3 small kids and my husband is a pastor. He has had to do everything including taking care of me. I was desperate to get my life back. I sent out a letter to all of my friends and family about what was going on with me and what I needed. From the time I found out about PTLS to the time of my surgery, this Wednesday, was only about 7 weeks. It was a God thing. A lot of my friends and family donated to help me with this surgery. My grandmother actually gave me a loan for the entire amount for my surgery and then I am paying her back. She knew what I was going through and did not want me to have to wait till I got all the money. She wanted to get me better and then worry about the money later. I would say get the word out there. Let your friends and family know what is going on and let them know about PTLS, etc. Maybe some people will help like they helped me. I will be praying for you. If you break it down and get Dr. M, then you only need $5,400. Which if you can get 54 people to help you with $100 dollars each then you will have it. Anything is possible. God Bless You and everything is going to be okay!![[CHTRC]](graemlins/logo.gif){kind=logo}
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