posted
Im scheaduled for the 9th. Only 6 more days! I am so glad that we are chatting. I was disappionted when I realized that the other ladies scheaduled for the 9th werent posting. But since our TRs are so close its just as good.
posted
Yanna, I am right there with you! I am so thrilled that I am finally going to get some relief and that really really excites me especially since I have pretty much "been sick" for the last 4 days and AF isn't even here yet... then adding in the possibility that we may try to add to our family in the future also thrills me then I stop and the freaky feeling over takes me - I know I don't have to be scared but the mixed sensations are just wild. What day are you scheduled? I go on the 16th! Take care and many hugs, ~LA
posted
Hi la, I'm really glad I don't say to much. But that is something I feel strongly about. Your home should be the place where you feel most comfortable and at ease. I'm praying that you and your family can work this all out with no hard feelings.
I just saw that you are having your tr one week after me! I don't know about you but I'm scared to death and completely excited at the same time. Strangest thing I've ever felt I think. Lol
posted
LA, you are in a very tough situation. I feel for you. I would suggest contacting social services to see if there is some kind of housing help or anything else they might qualify for. It has to be hard on all the parties involved, but I agree with Yanna that you have to look out for your immediate family (DH and kiddos) first. I wish you the best.
posted
Yanna - thanks!! You are totally 100% correct! You DID NOT say too much! It really helps that someone sees it as I do! Believe it or not but I have laid down the "rules" and have told them repeatedly that they do not dictate to me and my children... this doesn't keep them from being "ugly" to us... it just amazes me because I would NEVER think to go into their home and dicate to them as they do us. No matter what I have said, done or how much I have cried and pleaded with them - they just don't let up. I am going to basically start looking for an alternative place for them. I have some money in savings that I can pull out even though I don't want to - I dip if I have to if my work isn't there... When I find that place, I am thinking about just handing them the information and tell them flat out that they have to consider it or find their own solution. I don't want to totally ruin my relationship with my parents - they are my parents but when my kids do everything in their power to be somewhere else and when my man stays with his cousin because they don't want to be here - it is time for a big time change. Their attitudes and this situation is just all that much harder to deal with while trying to cope with PTLS... my cycle should be here any minute now :-/ so it is all compounded. I have two really close girlfriends who have both said the same as you - like I said, it is nice that someone else sees it for what it is. THANK YOU!! I just keep telling myself that two weeks from today - right now - I will be making that 6 1/2 hour drive to Chapel Hill!!! Many hugs & God Bless! ~LA
posted
La, I can appreciate the spot you are in and I understand completely. This being said and I know its easier said than done if they cannot afford to get a place on their own I would have to set some rules down pronto. They are in YOUR home you are putting a roof over their head now. Do you think if your family lived with them they would allow yall to behave like that? Probablly not. This is your marriage and your family and having other people live with you can be very stressfull even in good conditions. It sounds like the majority of your stess stems from them.
I know that this is your mom and dad and I know that it would be hard but if they cant afford to live anywhere else and you lay down the law what other option do they have.
Im sorry if I have said to much but Ive been there and this was the only way I get any peace in my life. Plus if things dont change it sounds like dad is driving you nuts and if he has a terminal illness you want to spand good times with him and not be frustrated all the time.
Again Im sorry if I said to much but its just my opion. Hope it gets better and good luck with your TR!
posted
Working helps me believe it or not... if I stay focused on the task at hand, the time slips by with very little issue. I have having a difficult time dealing with everything else. I am not looking to start or have a pity party but this is my life: I work virtually therefore my income in not guaranteed - some times I have more than I can handle and other times nothing but all in all, it works out and I can pay my bills (thanks to ex's monthly deposits mostly)... I have been doing this since Sept 2007 when I simply couldn't function due to the PTLS. If I am down, I can work at 3am if I need to or whatever so again - this isn't a bad or big deal... My parents live with me - my father is terminally ill and is on disability - due to their financial situation, they can't afford to live anywhere else so they are with me. In the last 6 months, things with them have gotten worse - my dad's health, his attitude, etc... all of a sudden, he hates my man, he hates the way me and the girls do things - crap, he tried to take my car away from me a couple of weeks ago because I didn't ask permission to go to the store... when he is ugly then Mom starts up - telling me that I should bend to Dad's way of things because he won't be around much longer... you know, I know he isn't going to be but this has been "the way" for several years now and now getting worse that I don't even want to be in the same room with them. This morning being a perfect example: The man was doing something to his truck, Dad decides he wants to work on his truck so we have to move the man's truck, my car, etc... well, the man gets ticked and leaves... Dad goes outside - which he rarely does so again, why today - he looks and his truck and decides he can't do it so now he is in his room watching TV... They let their dogs run all over and bark and be stupid and mine are banned outside because they don't care for them... They don't care how I feel or that their attitudes and actions are helping kill my beautiful relationship. The kids don't want to be around their grandparents anymore because they just get yelled at... the point being - they have got to go... BUT the problem being - they can't afford to go anywhere and I can't afford to help them out so I feel stuck. Anyway... on top of just that, I don't have their support for the TR and am being called names and I just hate it all... I did not tell them that I am already scheduled - woo hoo - in two weeks I will be in CH!!! Sorry to vent - this mornings crap just slapped me... Thanks for all of the suggestions... I am trying to do them all and they are helping - I just get knocked down with it all at times looking for a solution that is hiding... Thanks again! ~LA
posted
On what Susie, RN said it is good to have something to do. For me I do art. It gets me in a whole new world. I can put all the stress into what I am doing and making. I wish you all the best.MY PTLS as all but gone now after surgery. I had mine on March-24-08. Miranda
posted
Sorry you are so stressed... It has been shown that regular exercise reduces stress. When you feel stress start to creep up, I suggest going for a nice long walk or jog if you are able. Doing this might give you a chance to cool down. Hope this helps!
posted
LA, I agree with Mary in that I was stressed before TR also. Even good things cause stress. And Kathy is absolutely right, if working causes even more stress, that's not good. Find something just right for you, that relaxes you and keeps you calm for a little while. I get lost in books, or have a candlelight bubble bath.
Just a little caution, sometimes for a few cycles after TR, things are a little off. I had very bad cramps and some PMS for a while, but now, AF just sneaks up without any forewarning.
Best of luck, and I hope the TR takes care of the PTLS for you quickly.
posted
Hi ladies, some of the suggestions have helped. My friend pointed out to me this morning that this should be my LAST PTLS cycle and the next one should be much better. It felt like a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. I always "go down" about a week before my cycle... well, my cycle is due to start this weekend so no wonder I feel like I do. It is only 9:30am and I am going to go take a bubble bath and be lazy for a couple of hours - my youngest doesn't get home from school until noon today so I am good for a while :-) well, I hope so! Anyway... well - 17 days to go for me until my TR! Positive thoughts for all. ~LA
posted
It seems like you are trying to deal with stress by working. Even journalling to express your feelings can be stressful. You sound like a conscientious person, trying to see to everything on the homefront, except doing something relaxing and positive for just you. As a suggestion, getting out for a walk for fresh air or taking a nice bubble bath might help. Doing something you enjoy, that is fun for you is important. Best wishes. Kathy
posted
LA... you're having your TR next week? wahoooo girl! I know I was pretty stressed, the closer it got time for mine. Here's what helped me... long baths with a nice bottle of wine, taking longs walks, and then you still stress.. but it did help. I wasn't so much worried about surgery.. just if it would work, kwim? But that, you have no control over.... so try not to sweat that.. only worry about things you have control over Best wishes to you and hoping you have a good success with the TR and a quick BFP
posted
I am not sure what your religious beliefs are, but praying is always a good outlet. Reading the following verses Matthew 6:25-34 and Matth 11:18 have always carried me through tough times.
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[CHTRC]](graemlins/logo.gif){kind=logo}
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Best wishes to you and hoping you have a good success with the TR and a quick BFP 
Printer-friendly view of this topic
© Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center
