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Cocoamommy!!! I just wanted to get back with you and let you know how much you have to look forward to! Like I shared with you earlier, I had my TR on 7-8-09. I think that you are scheduled for the end of this month! Trust me when I say this, you are in excellent hands at CHTRC! You will enjoy every detail of your experience! Keep me posted! I will share more with you as I experience relief of PTLS symptoms! Right now, I am 2 days post-op and feel really good! Pain is minimal and I feel a calm that I have not had in the last 18 mos since my TL! I am sure that you will be in awe of the level of compassion, care, and kindness at CHTRC!!! Talk to you soon!
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Hopenow, Sounds like a plan. My surgery isn't until the end of July but I'll post once it's over. Good luck to you also! Only 1 more day of June left, I'm getting excited.
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Tonia & hopenow~ I am glad you are blessed by the Word. It is the only thing that gets me through rough times and exhilarates me in good time. We are supposed to uplift and edify one another always. I know I totally fall short of the glory of God on that one, but I try as much as I humanly can to uplift and edify others. In so doing, God reaches down into my heart and meets me at my needs.
I noticed something really awesome. My incision is barely noticeable. Dr. M did such a superb job in closing me up. My c-section scarring was pretty thick and now my new scar is awesome.
(Thanks again Dr. M for doing such and awesome job!)
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cocoamommy! We are both in July! Let's keep each other posted on our results w/the TR and relief from PTLS. My best wishes to you and hopes for a speedy recovery from the TR and the PTLS. Best wishes!
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I know I've been having doubts about if the surgery will actually work. I'm doing it because of PTLS. Spending alot of money on something that you just don't know the outcome until it's done makes me very nervous. I've been trying to stay positive by reading other ladies post but it is nerve racking. I'm scared about the finacial aspect of it,Sometimes I feel guilty about spending so much money that could be used for other things we need but I really feel that my health is important so I'm doing it. Like Cindy said, you could spend that money on misc. stuff and never have anything to show for it. Atleast I will have a piece of mind knowing that I tried everything to get myself back to normal. DH and I haven't talked about having another baby but it will be nice to know that if we ever did want to try for another my TR is already done. So yes, I think it's totally normal to be emotional and have doubt about if the surgery will work. I'm just trying to have faith and I know that by having Dr. Berger do my surgery I gave myself the best possible chance. I can't wait until my surgery day. 28 more days!!!
You are such inspiration! I love your scriptures and quotes. I can tell you I felt very much like you...both pre and post TR. I had times when I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing by trying to conceive again. Battled that whole age thing in my mind...would it be fair to a child to have one at my age, if we are lucky enough to conceive at best I will be 43 when he/she is born so I would be 61 when he/she graduated high school!!! That thought scared me almost out of it at times.
I also stressed about the money like Cindy says in her post but you know it so very true how her husband reasoned out. All of us through the next several years will blow the amount we spent on TR and have absolutely nothing to show for it. I am glad we are gambling with the odds of this one...heck if we dont get pregnant at least will have this nice little scar to show for it And by the way, they did a wonderful job closing the incision! Took my steri strips off yesterday and the scar should be very minimal.
This board is such a blessing to so many and am so very thankful to get so much from so many of you! Hope everyone has a wonderful week.
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Thanks Denise...I appreciated the scripture and please know how well received it really was! You women are all angels to minister to the rest of us the quality of life that is possible after TR! Can't wait to share a story of success with you, too! Thanks again for being there! Have a wonderful day!
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One of my favorite scriptures that got me through many anxiety attacks:
"Be anxious for nothing, but in all things through prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6 & 7
Anxiety is an extreme fear of the unknown. We never KNOW what is going to occur, but we must have hope and keep our faith. It is difficult to do, but as we stand upon God's promise He will bring us through.
Anxiety pre TR and post TR? Oh yeah, I qualify for both. It has barely been 6 weeks post TR and I still find myself getting anxious about conception. AF was 2 days late and I found myself a little doubtful if I was ready to have a baby at this point in my life. Doubt was creeping in and I had to SHUT IT OUT. Prior to TR there were many ups and downs as to whether to go through with it or not. DH and I even argued a couple of times and I would threaten that I wasn't going to do it, then I would cry privately and feel so ashamed at my behavior.
I thank God that it is all said and done. I am feeling wonderful, this AF was actually quite "normal", I think. Only 5 days, moderate flow, no overflow/flooding/accidents, no pain, only a few small clots, way different than what I have been used to. Kind of like pre TL.
Taking it day by day is all you can do to keep sane.
Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift; that is why they call it the present.
May God make His face to shine down upon you. Denise-45 TR:5/13/09
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Although I dont "think" I have had PTLS, but I am not dismissing it. Our reasons for the TR are purely for a baby.
Once I decided I wanted to do this then I was on a mission. My poor husband, he really wanted this also. But because he is not a pushy person, he waited til I was ready. And once I was ready I was on him like white on rice.
I felt anxious about:
-Telling my parents, which we still havent done and will wait til we get a solid BFP.
-Anxious about spending the money after I had lost my job, but my severence pay is what helped us do it. The economy. Thinking about things that we should buy around the house, but that feeling was short lived.
-About my age. I am 35, my husband is going to be 44 soon.
-How my kids would feel. They are excited though.
-Three c-sections, and not a good delivery with my second baby. (But the doctor cleared all this, Thank God).
-Starting over again with another baby. My husband has three kids from a previous marriage, I have three from a previous marriage. Ages almost 9, 9, 14, 14, 17, and 18 years old.
-I wondered if we should be thinking about retirement, paying off the house, etc.
-I sort of worried that I wouldnt be able to be repaired, or if I would be the small percent that could not be repaired.
My husband put my fears about money at ease by saying that we could waste that money easily in a lifetime, blow it on nothing and never have anything to show for it. And then the part about "What if we dont get PG?" and we put out the money? He reminded that we talked about going to Vegas at one point. And the money we dropped into TR was worth the "gamble". It was worth it to us to take the "chance".
We did it, and I do not have one regret. I have short tubes with 2cm on each side, but I feel really great about our decision. I have this feeling that I did not expect which is that I feel "whole" again. That wasnt even my intent, but it's an added feeling that I am thankful for!
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Tryin41more-thanks for your gracious words. I am so thankful for you women on these boards. The days coming up until the surgery in a week or so seem like months. It sounds like you have been there and done that! I will keep you in my prayers that for whatever reason you decided to go through TR that your outcome is exactly what you needed it to be! God bless you for your kind words and support! Thanks for the inspiration today! I needed it and you were an angel for your reply! I do have great faith in TR and CHTRC and wish my anxiety did, too!!! Have a great weekend
I think what you are experiencing is very normal...probably not normal not to feel this way. I was very anxious, and even though am 4 days post TR still a little anxious if it will work for us. I have found even though I do not post much that this board is a sanity check for so many women! Every fear, hope, concern and some I hadn't even thought of yet are on this board somewhere and it is such a blessing CHTRC provides a forum for women to share this journey with.
I can only speak for myself but this procedure was the easiest medical issue I've had to deal with. The day of TR all I did was sleep but had 0 pain, just some muscle soreness after the numbing medication wore off. DH and I went out to dinner and I felt pretty good. The next day I just alternated between tylenol and advil for the muscle soreness but still never had any real pain. I did not take any of the vicodin they gave me. Probably overdid it just a little because on day 3 it was a little difficult getting in and out of bed and up and down from the couch but still just the advil and tylenol done the trick...and we BD'd that night Today feeling really good but will still continue to take it easy...only had one advil today and have been piddling a little around the house. I am blessed and know everyone reacts differently but thank God he took care of the pain for me. If I would have known a TR were possible, would have done this years ago! Although I have about 2 weeks before AF I'm not dreading her like I have in the past just by hearing how many others have gotten so much better.
God bless and try not to worry too much, you will be very glad you decided to go on this journey.
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Hopenow... We really do have a lot in common. I would love to keep in touch with you. Here is my email, shoot me an letter and we can keep in touch that way too. heatheradams24atjunodotcom Heather
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I was so afraid that I would spend the 6K and not get better but the hell we were living was not going away on its own so we had nothing to lose and everything to gain. We have never looked back since!
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Heather-interesting. Our little guy is not developing well with his speech like my first. I have wondered if it was his public daycare environment vs. my first son's private daycare. I guilt myself so much. I am just so overjoyed to find others that identify so that I can deal with the past and move on. I hope the emotional healing kicks in soon. I can't help but think that I was the cause of his initial delays, his sickly disposition, and his developmental delays. We certainly have a lot in common there! I hope we also share the same positive outcome that you have had with the TR! I will keep you posted Thanks for being there, Heather!
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hopenow.. I had the same problem with breastfeeding after my TL. I cannot tell you how long I cried for my son. I had breastfed the other two and knew (at that time) that this would be the last baby I would feed at my breast. It took me 7 weeks to get him back up to his birth weight, but by that time I had already started him on formula because he was not getting enough nutrution to grow. I did not figure out until a couple of weeks ago that was the problem. It makes me so angry! He has been a tiny, sickly baby and developmentally behind. He is 3 1/2 years old and just starting to talk a little bit. He is developmentally a brand new 2 year old. I cannot help but think that this could have been prevented and I could have done so much more for him if I had been able to breastfeed him. At least I won't have to go through that again. Heather
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And by the way, they did a wonderful job closing the incision! Took my steri strips off yesterday and the scar should be very minimal. ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
Thanks again for being there! Have a wonderful day!
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