posted
Nochey - I e-mailed you....I hope your wife can come on the board and read our stories and take advantage of the wonderful support system of (sad to have to say) PTLS experts here. Many of us have been there and lived through it (though at times we are not sure how we did it!) We can share tales of our recovery and healing. There is hope and we are here to help!
posted
Nochey, You are not alone. There are many concerned husbands who have reported some of the same or similar symptoms with their wives that you have noticed with your wife. Please take a look at this link, it may help. Wishing you and your wife all the best.
posted
I'd like to add one more thing. My ex and his mother were always trying to "fix" what was wrong with me, but failed to see their own issues. I want to caution you against this approach. Perhaps a talk with a counselor, with the understanding that her side will be heard and you will be willing to correct those things she feels need to be corrected. In her mind she may be wondering how undergoing a surgery is going to make you a better husband. LOL Just a female's thoughts there. And I used to get really ticked when my ex brought home a new self help book and said "here, mom says you should read this" so be careful about how you approach her with this information.
posted
I suffered for 8 years. I don't know how my family lived with me. I started to have night sweats and thought to myself, "Menopause? I am too young for that!" After 3 years of research I finally had TR 5/09. I have had absolutely NO SYMPTOMS since. No mid cycle pain, no pain at AF, no mood swings, no absolutely irrational anger outbursts, no cringing at my DH touching/hugging me, and I actually have a libido again. Very strange how the hormones are affected when you mess with the human body or don't take care of it.
You, and many other DH, are saints to love us through the "ugly years". Love conquers all, and I pray that your love for your wife will help her reach out and receive some help. TR doesn't work for everyone, but it works for so many that I would definitely recommend it. That and possibly some natural hormone therapy just may do it, covered with lots of prayer.
God bless you for reaching out for your wife! Denise
posted
I too am in the same boat. I have my TR scheduled for the 27th of this month. I am hoping that this helps my symptoms out as well. Reading your post makes me think of my own self indeed. I swear I have all the symptoms & at first I was like your wife. I didnt believe anything was wrong with me. In my mind I new something was not right but I blew it off & blamed it all on other people. I am very short tempered with my kids, I get aggravated very easily, my time of the month is seriously like dealing with the devil & I am not kidding. Not only do I have the mood swings, I am in bed for the first 3 days atleast with cramps so bad I cry. I could go on & on with all the symptoms that I have but I am sure that you know most of them. When I read the list of all of them I sat in the floor & cried. I read them to my husband & he said that was definately what I have. I hope that you can get through to your wife about some of this but try not to push it to hard. When I went to my MD he told me that this is what I had & that I should look into a reversal. I wanted a second opinion so I went to a OB & he told me there was no such thing & that I needed a hysterectomy. Well being 27 & recently remarried to a man that has no kids that was not an option for me. So I chose CHTRC. Not only will I have relief from my PTLS, we might get an extra bonus! I am sending prayers your way & let me know if you need anything else or if I can be of help!
posted
The PTLS blogs are from October of 2008..You can just search the website for blog PTLS Momzilla and there are links to all the PTLS blogs for other patients at that time..I could not get the link to attach here properly..
posted
Though none of us here are MDs...your wife's sounds like a classic case of PTLS. Her story could be my story as well as many of the women here. It almost destroyed my marriage to the point where my husband and I barely talked and sex was something I cringed at the thought of...My husband and I participated in the PTLS blogs a while back (if you haven't read them or shown them to her...please do so..it might help!)and he gave the male perspective on living with my PTLS. Your wife probably does not care about anything right now...It is literally like you are a stranger living in someone else's life and though you think you should or don't know why you can't...you just cannot muster up strength to care about anything...I was short-tempered with my kids, stressed, exhausted, not sleeping at night but falling asleep on my couch at 8 PM..I had so many other physical symptoms and always felt like there was a black cloud over me...There were times when I wondered what splitting up would be like..if only so that I would no longer have to worry about avoiding sex anymore...it was never a loss of love but a loss of self. Your wife is so lucky that you are a believer and supportive. This is a hard road to travel. The up side is that a TR has helped alleviate the symptoms of many of us. While there are no guarantees for a "cure" via TR...just the thought of living with extreme PTLS forever..made the money and uncertainty worth the risk. I was virtually symptom free within 12 weeks of TR and my marriage got right back on track...My husband and I got our friendship back as well.. PTLS is devastating...Please be patient with your wife. The more you try to strongly persuade her..she may just get mad and feel like you are shoving your opinion down her throat..and the more she will resist simply because she is probably not thinking like herself or rationally right now...PTLS truly messes with your mind and sense of self...Keep trying with her..share those blogs and posts...Keep supporting her and telling her how much you care and want her to be "her" again! Counseling is a great idea if she willingly goes..forcing that issue will only drive a bigger wedge between you two. You are so fortunate to have the money to take care of this because that is such a huge hurdle for many of the couples here that want the TR to fix their PTLS but have to wait because they cannot afford it yet..If she needs someone to talk to directly..post here and I will try to get my e-mail address to you. Several of us have been able to talk each other through things here off line. If I can help.....please just let me know.
posted
I am not saying that I had PTLS cause it seems like I had all my symtoms prior to TL also, so I figured PMS. I think my symptoms got worse over time and didnt realize it. However, I can tell you that I have felt a huge relief from my PMS symptoms since my TR. It went from two weeks down to just a few days before I start. That wasnt even my reason for having the TR. I feel like I am much easier to live with. I hope it's continued feeling for me. This is my 6th cycle since my TR. I hope you can print off and share this information with your wife in a hope to see if you can find an answer. Of course, dont rule out the other things since as marital counseling. I whole heartedly believe in it.
posted
I remember those days so well when I did not want to leave my bed because of everything. I will be praying for your wife and you. I do have a question. Could she be worried about the surgery its self? Many ladies I have talked to after having the surgery keep wanting to know about the pain of the surgery its self and the healing time. If it is that she wants to feel better but no more kids then talk about the things out there for that. My email is ranisheets23 at yahoo dot com if she would ever like to chat with someone that has had the surgery. I wish you all the best and hang in there. What helped me was my husband never gave up on the fact it would work. Miranda
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[CHTRC]](graemlins/logo.gif){kind=logo}
Printer-friendly view of this topic
© Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center
