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Hello again everyone. I just got back from my GP to get a requisition for some blood work and to get my surgical report so that I will have it. He wanted to know what I was up to, I came armed with a package incase he was open to listening- not. He even got out a medical text book to explain to me why PTLS can not be. (I wonder if he needs to see the movie "Lorenzo's Oil" again?- but I digress. I think the Drs here in Canada must take it a bit personally when we Canadians go to the US for medical treatment. So I'm not even upset with him, I actually have compassion for him. However, he still is has no answer as to why my hair is falling out and I have gained 40 pounds along with the rest of the plethora of symptoms I have. In the end all I could say was, "I respect your position and your words of caution- duly noted". Nonetheless, I have decided to go with my gut. (Momzilla- Tracy, I would like to take you up on your offer to communicate directly. I am technologically-challenged -not PTLS symptoms either, just me. Can we do that within the context of this message board? I guess I'll leave the ball in your court, Okay)
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Brenda, Vent any time. That is what everyone is here for.. We all completely understand because we have been there and can relate to one of more of these horrible symptoms...never feel bad or guilty about any of this..It is not your fault..Perhaps you can put a little money away each week to save for surgery? I charged my surgery because I could not wait anymore and then we borrowed the money to pay the charge from our savings to void paying interest. I will be paying it back well into the future. Do what you can do and try not to get too frustrated. Your time will come and keep talking to your husband..communication is key..make him know that you want to get yourself back for you and for him but that this is so often out of your control. You are like s stranger in your own body..Keep telling him you love him so he never forgets for a moment that this is something that is happening TO YOU but it is not really YOU!...Any time you want to talk..I'll be here...Be well and hang in there..
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Katy, Please don't be sorry for expressing your joy. I didn't mean to make you feel bad, sometimes I just have the need to talk to someone who knows what I'm going through. It almost feels like a little of the weight is lifted just because someone else knows. As for when I will have my TR, I'm not sure. I just recently got a new credit card that I applied for because I was feeling really desperate and just wanted to get it done. My husband was extremely upset when I told him about it. After talking to him, I realize that it wouldn't be a good thing to do right now, because we are already in more debt than we can handle. It's so hard knowing that the piece of plastic in my wallet can get me what I want, and yet I can't do it. I'm hoping we can figure something out soon. And believe me, when I get it done and start feeling "normal" again, I will definitely be on here "gloating!"
Tracy, It helps so much to know I'm not alone. I know what you mean about feeling like your husband is going to divorce you; that has been the subject of a lot of my conversations with my husband lately. I have been trying to express to him my concern that if we don't do something about this soon, I am afraid we will get divorced. Of course, with him being a man, he took it the wrong way and now he has it in his head that I want to divorce him. That is certainly not the case. So, for the past few days, I have been trying to stop feeling sorry for myself and focus on the needs of our relationship. Like in the bedroom, I have been making an effort to let him know that I still want him to touch me, even if I don't get the full benefit. And I have started going up to him and giving him a hug any time of the day, for no particular reason, just like I used to in the "good old days." Today when we went for our daily walk with the kids, I decided to grab his hand and hold it. He actually smiled when I did it, which surprised me (I don't know why). I said, "Remember this?" and he said, "It's been a long time." It felt really good. And I know what you mean about movies with sex, except I don't really have an aversion to it, it's more like I feel really bad because it's something I can't have. When I see it on t.v., I just feel like crying. Hopefully I won't have to go through this much longer.
Thank you both for being "a shoulder" for me. I don't know what I'd do without wonderful ladies like you to talk to.
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Brenda, I have been just like you for 3 years. I hated talking about sex to anyone because I felt so horrible that I could not have it, did not want it and avoided it ny and all circumstances that might lead to it. I thought I would be divorced by now...my poor husband...I even started thinking one of our friends who is in a bad marriage was probably after my husband...he had to get it somewhere right? That paranoia did not help my self-esteem at the time. Every time I wateched a movie where there was any sex (and my husband was in the room) I sort of cringed and left the room for a drink or to go the bathroom..It was awful...I can tell you..almost 2 weeks post TR I no longer have this "ominous dread or aversion to sex" feeling in my head. I will say, though, I do have a little fear about it since it has been so damn long..I assume it is like riding a bike, right..you never forget and it comes right back to you...LOL...Please know you are not alone in this...We have all been there...Keep the faith!
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Teresilla, I want you to know I was 44 when I had my Tl and 46 when I had my TR. People thought I was nuts for not getting a hysterectomy! I went to my Gyne for laser surgery, I have endometriosis and he had lasered me before and it gave me 10 years of relief. This time he said how about if I tie your tubes while I'm in there this will help your endometriosis the blood won't flow back out of the tubes this will help. I said ok if it will help, I don't plan on anymore children. Well two months after the TL I got so sick , no period, hair falling out, severe pain on the left side, Very moody like you want to kill someone! I went back to him and told him, This was from the TL and he said no way you are in menopause. I said how could I be in menopause in 2 months and does menopause make you sick?? He did blood work , called and said I'm sorry your not in menopause but, your thyroid is off. He blamed it all on my thyroid, Well my thyroid went back to normal and I still felt horrible. I went back to him and told him I wanted it reversed of course he said he could not do it would cost 15,000 and the TL was not my problem! Anyway I found Dr. Berger Thank God! Had my TL 8/07 I feel 90% better it was worth every penny! I felt like I was 80 years old before TR. It does work !
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Dear Brenda, I am so very sorry you are suffering and I totally get your thoughts when simply walking down the street. I too questioned EVEYONE's sexuality comparing it to my miserable once a month obligation for fear if I didn't my husband would leave. I am praying for you and wonder how close you are to a decision and the finances to go through with TR. I promise I will send only good thoughts your way on your journey.
I also want to apologize if I have over stated my joy. I didn't mean to gloat I just can hardly wrap my brain around the physical change that occurred almost within 48 hours of surgery. I wake up amazed and can't really find anywhere to talk about it except here. Forgive me. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you.
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skate, I keep reading your posts all over the board about how great your libido is after TR. It gives me hope, but at the same time makes me extremely jealous. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for anyone who can feel better. It's just so hard for me because that has been the focus of my life lately. I had my TL three years ago next month, and haven't had any satisfaction in that area since. I was 33 when I had it done and I'm 36 now, and that's a long time to go without. I feel like I'm losing my mind. When I see strangers on the street, all I think about is that they probably have a satisfying sex life and I don't. Is that nuts or what? I think we take things like that for granted, but when it's gone, we really miss it.
I'm sorry I went on and on about this, and probably nobody wants to hear about it, but I don't have anybody to talk to who understands what I'm going through except you guys. Thank you for listening and please keep posting the positive stories.
From a PTLS perspective I am overjoyed with the results! I am 44 years old tomorrow and only 12 days post op from my TR. I would say it was a DEFINING MOMENT in my life to make the decision and travel to CHTRC. I don't think I had as much doubt as you though. I am a statistic freak and Dr Berger's stats on PTLS relief are about 80%. That is a land slide in medical terms. The drug companies sell medications at outrageous prices with stats way less than 80%. And you know what? We as consumers buy them!
Even if this procedure gives you relief for a few more years IMHO it is well worth it. But I am in the throws of great libido, and now a lifting of the depressive fog I was in. I may be a little skewed but forgive me, I just had tubal reversal surgery performed by Dr Gary Berger.
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Dear Teresilla YOu're right there is alot of discussion around TTC, but that seems to be a more common reason for doing this i think, and most people when or if you tell them that you are having this immediately think doing this to conceive and nothing else. However, I am 43 and had my TR because i couldn't stand feeling the emptiness that having the TL gave me. I was clinically depressed, crying all the time and it was horrible suddenly this spring when my youngest sister told me she was pregnant with her fifth, which she and the rest of the family hid from me for two months. Yeah, I guess I still wanted another and was sad about that too, and ironically thought I was pregnant that week before, as I was almost 1 week late. I got my period that same day. Anyway, I had not read much about PTLS but I somehow found the CH web site and started reading and then went to my new GYNE crying. All she could say was that whatever med my therapist put me was okay, just let her know and she would write the script. I felt so alone and like I had no where to go. After many nights of crying and reading the CH message board, I realized that having a TR was what I wanted/needed. So, here I am , four days after my tr and anxious to see how i am with my first cycle. Not sure how long it takes our bodies to realize we are together again. I am hoping to have a happy and healthy sex life and be more easy going around that time of the month. I would welcome another baby, but I am not planning, just going to relax and see where this ride takes me. I wish too that my Dr that did my TL had of talked to me about the changes, because I certainly would not have had it done. I would have opted for no sex as my husband threatened after my last baby 5 years ago. It would have been worth it. Anyway, good luck, keep in touch. I hope you continue to find relief of your symptoms. Linda
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Hi Momzilla, I may be brave or just crazy. My sister had her last child at 43 years old. I have realistic expectations. I'm just pleased I have a libido again and if that's all that comes of TR that will be blessing enough. We really had TR to right a wrong and to feel whole again. A baby would be wonderful but it wasn't the whole goal. Thanks for writing me, Katy
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Katy - You are a brave soldier to try for a baby at 43. I am also 43 and too exhausted to have another! I had my last at 40 and my 3 kids (8, 5, 3) run circles around me. I do have a friend who just had her 3rd at 44...We should start a club. Our slogan could be "These old eggs..still motivated after all those years"! So far since my surgery I have no headaches, my sense of doom is gone and my face is pretty clear..a good sign...Since I did this solely for PTLS all my co-workers have joked that I am going to wind up PG. I already had one "oops" baby at 40 who is a total blessing and joy, but I doubt lightening would strike me twice! If it does it better strike my husband too because he would die of shock!
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Yes, my insurance, (Blue Cross) even wrote me a letter that states: "Although we find a tubal ligation reversal necessary for your female health, it is not a covered procedure because it's ICD-9 code is a fertility procedure. Your policy doesn't cover fertility reversals or fertility treatments"
So, they conceded that I need the surgery based on 2 submitted medical Dr's diagnosis, but won't pay for it. Perhaps the work should be done to develop a new ICD-9 code for women seeking reversal for documented PTLS. They did agree, however, to pay for BC pills to "regulate" my cycles, an ablation, or a HYSTERECTOMY! I was 27 when I had my TL...a hysterectomy? Really? You are serious? I want my reproductive health restored, not ripped off further.
Read the stats for women getting a hysterectomy after TL. This is one of MANY sites you can read about the stats of a much higher rate of hysterectomy after TL. http://www.wdxcyber.com/nbleed9.htm
My doctor counseled me first, and told me that "as many as 80% of women report a change in their periods afterward". So, he told me I may experience a heavier or more painful period. I thought I would be the 20% who didn't, since I had always been like clockwork and completely fertile and regular.
However, now I think that has made my PTLS WORSE. For a woman's body to be completely robbed of it's perfect communication between ovaries, glands, hormones and tubes, and to block the only escape for heavy bleeding times (in a non-sterilized woman, some of the heavy flow becomes absorbed as it travels up the Fallopian tubes-almost like a spill over drain) we can only EXPECT to have bad symptoms. However, it is up to doctors to begin to TELL their patients this information. We should have to sign a consent form after having fully been disclosed the possibility of PTLS, WHETHER or NOT the doctors fully "buy it" or not! We are not physicians, and when facing a good 10-20+ years of reproductive health in front of us, we need to KNOW!
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