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wow we have all had a journey havent we. But yes the lord will bring things back full circle if it smeant to be as he did with me and many with you. Its a blessing that drs like dr berger can help woman like us who were told that after having the tubes cut adn burnt there was no other way then invetro. It certainly feels great to feel whole again and to exprience pregnancy again though iwas 34 when i did so with my first tr noah whos gonna be nine months oct 2nd and its my second yr tr anniversary oct17th.
Im so so humbled and thankful for the day i came to chapel hill to feel like a whole person again and know it IS possible to be whole again and have a child again. When i twas five yrs since the birth of my second daughter that i wasnt able to have children .I felt after my two were taken from me by my ex husband how a woman not able to have children at all felt or someone in loss of a child felt . Now when isee woman who are in my shoes i tell them theres wounderful experienced drs who can reverse it. Good luck ladies with your journeys.....
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Hello all, This such an interesting subject to me. My situation is very unique in that I had my TL 2 months before I got married. At age 38 I got married (first marriage for me). The man of my dreams turned out to be a 54 year old grandpa. (It's funny because in my heart I always wanted to be a grandma but not a mom- a difficult desire to explain or accommodate.) The logical thing to me was to just have a TL and not mess around with birth control- we were going to change our minds about having children. Soon after the TL I started getting symptoms of PTLS. It took me a while to figure out what was going on. My TR is scheduled for this Oct. I deeply regret the TL because of the damage that it has done to my health and our young marriage not because I or my husband wanted or want to have children. Like others who have posted, PTLS caused the regret. Until I realized it was making me sick, I was very happy about the TL because it was doing its job of keeping me from getting pregnant.
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hi everyone i got my TL only seven years ago after my forth child and now im remarried and my husband loves my kids like his own but he really would like one of his own
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I do not regret my TL either. I was married at 17 had 3 kids by age 22 and had the TL during the c-section of my last baby. I had always wanted only 3 kids plus they said my uterus was thin and shouldn't have any more so I had the TL. Fast forward 17 years later and me ex left us for a snotty biotch. He definetely deserved what you got, she's a peach and makes him sleep in the basement. Two years later I remarried a younger man that had no children. The whole time after the TL I had no desire to have any more children but after I met him that was the only thing I wanted more than anything - giving him a child. Even though I hadn't wanted anymore I couldn't bear to live with myself if I was the reason he never had children. So we decided to have the TR and if it worked then it was meant to be. It apparently was meant to be because I had my TR on 9-7-05 and had a baby boy on 4-28-07. He came 6 weeks early on his daddy's 32nd birthday. It was rough adjusting to a baby again. My other kids were 21, 19 and 16 at the time. Of course they adore him and just seeing the way DH looks at his son makes it all worth it. I had another TL in October 2007 and I have not regretted that TL either. Good luck to all those that are TTCing.
Like JenniferK, I think the journney I am on happened for a reason and he is now clomping around the house in his new shoes, dragging his blanket behind him where ever he goes.
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Kim that is so true. I tell everyone, "nothing you want in this life is going to come easy". You have to be a fighter. I wish you all the best and will be praying for you. Miranda
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Its funny how all of the bad things I went through I some how managed to turn into a positive in my life now. At the time I would never have thought I would be in such a good place in my life. I have been blessed. I am a fighter and I always pull myself back to the top. If I don't get the chance to have another baby I will be fine with that. There are other avenues out there you just gotta look.
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gotthebabybug What a touching story. I am so glad to hear that good or bad you have learned to stand up for what is right. The is what truly learning from your life is. My DH would like to adopt my 2 kids as well. But like you I am not ever looking forward to facing my ex about it all.I wish you all the best as you do what is right for your family. Miranda TR-3/24/08
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I chose to have my TL because I was married to an abusive man and could not imagine bringing another child into that.(I would not change having my DS and DD from that relationship though) But at the time I was not sure that I would survive everything that I was going through and my ex was looking for another reason to tie me to relatioship longer...and he thought another child was it. Any way, this could drag out for ever so I will cut it short. I chose to have my TL with no support from him. My sister was by my side the whole time and supported me more than I could have ever imagined. My GYN did try to talk me into something less permanent, but I was afraid my ex would take that as a sign that I may be planning to leave him one day since he all ready knew I did think that us having more children was a good idea. I did not regret my decision at all until I met a wonderful man and he asked me to marry him. He has no children of his own and initially we were fine with the idea of not having children together. Well, now that time has passed and we have both changed our mind about that I have scheduled my TR for Oct. 27. We are looking forward to TTC and will hopefully be bringing a little one into our family soon!
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KimSmi - I really enjoyed reading your post and your statement "Life is a funny journey and it is best not to look back." That really says a lot.
I too really have no regrets from getting my TL. Granted, now we're considering the possibility of having a TR, but at the time the TL was what we wanted. Maybe we could have chosen a less "permanent" option, but hey! we did what we felt was right. We never know what the future holds for us.
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Life is a funny journey and it is best not to look back. I am another person who never regretted my TL. I had it when married to my ex and if I hadn't, we might have had more children together. Though I would not trade my kids for the world, it is best that he and I did not have any others together. I had TR in 2005 and we (me and my current DH) gave 2.5 yrs of our lives to TTC. We made a wholehearted effort to have a baby together. Lots of life changes happened in 2.5 years and we decided we did not want to expand the size of our family, so DH had a vasectomy in January this year. Still no regrets. Each choice we've made has been right for that time in life.
Best to everyone. Kim TL 5/1999 TR 6/2005 DH-V 1/2008
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I want to share my experience with TL. I had 2 little ones and divorced my husband. It was a bad situation and I had to get out of that home. I was 14 hours away from family and wanted to stay in the area because of the children. Even if me and their father didn't get along it was no excuse for moving across the country. I stayed and ex remarried and our relationship changed. I actually consider his wife one of my closest friends, strange I know. So that leads my to baby number three. I started a relationship with a co worker big mistake. We eventually moved in together and I thought everything was peachy. He had a daughter from a previous marriage and he just adored her. I mean I never saw a man just love a child so much. He was also good with my boys, taking them out fishing all the time. A year into the relationship we discussed having a child of our own. Well the mere thought of it and bingo bango I was PG. Morning sickness was horrible and a month or 2 into it he tells me he is leaving and he wants me to have an abortion. My ex and his wife took me and the boys in for awhile because I was so sick and in shock. I actually had a discussion about abortion because I was just lost and didn't know what to do. Then I thought to hell with him I can do this on my own. He realized that this baby was coming like it or not. We managed to remain friendly and he went to child birth classes with me and was there for delivery. His mom was there too. He wanted baby to have his last name and I agreed not thinking things through - to hormonal. Anyway during the pregnancy I decided that all men were evil and it was best that I not having anymore children. He brought me and baby home from the hospital and never came around again. I called and asked for some help with support and wanting him in her life. He said he would give me $50.00 a month! I was in college and didn't want to take him to court so I agreed. Well he would call me and say I am in the parking lot come and get your money. Not once did he ask to see her. I called one night and asked for a little extra because I was low on diapers. He showed up with a check and stood in front of me and ripped it in half. What a man. I cried I didn't know what I was going to do. He said take me to court if you want the money. So I did and guess what he said it wasn't his. I think he did this to drag out the process. We had to take a paternity test and viola 99.9% his. This was almost a 2 year process. I finally started getting money and he quit his job, go figure. He then said he wanted visitation just to make me miserable not because he wanted anything to do with this child. I was financially comfortable at this point and really didn't need his money. I told him I will drop all child support if you agree to stay away. He didn't want this child and I didn't want her in an environment that was not good for her. She will be 8 next month and DH is the only daddy she has ever known. He would like to do a step parent adoption but I have fear of contacting her biological father. I did actually sit down and talk to her about him a few weeks ago. I have pictures and video of him at the birth and I want her to know about him. Anyway I know this is a long post. I have matured over the years and I had TL for all of the wrong reasons. I regret it and it has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I am grateful to have found this site and look forward to my TR. Going through this has made me a strong woman who will stand up for what is right. I have faith that this will all work out for me and a baby will bless our family.
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Lisa that's a great story. I pray the very best for you!
I agree with you about symptoms first helping to lead to a feeling of being broken. It bothers me when the reverse is associated...like because we are sad we can't have children, suddenly our bodies are sick. I didn't even REALIZE I had regret until the symptoms of PTLS kept bludgeoning me.
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I also now regret having a TL. I had mine 18 months ago after the birth of my 2nd child. We were blessed with a DS and DD and felt that no matter what anyways 2 children were enough for me. I had the TL because I as well did not want to have to deal with BC pills etc and figured I was having a repeat c/s so I would do then. Another factor was my age. I was 37 when I had my DD and thought gosh, I don't want to be having another one later on in life. So, after discussion with my OB about PTLS (I did research before my TL and stumbled across this website but didn\'t't really fully understand because of course I had not had it done yet) she informed me that it did not exist. Sooo, had it done.
I didn't get my first AF until 6 months after my DD due to breastfeeding, but let me tell you it was a doozie!! I had never experienced something like that before. I just thought, oh well it's the first one post partum and dealt with it. Then I started noticing many more symptoms each month. So, I went searching again on the web and ended up here again. It has come full circle.
PTLS does exist and that is why I am having the TR. To add to HisWill questioning whether the guilt or symptoms brought on the regret. For me it was the symptoms then the regret came. After reading about PTLS and it's affects on women, I then felt really BROKEN. I am now not only on a quest to feel better but to feel whole. I have a lot of faith in GOD and definitely feel like He led me back here so I need to do what I know in my heart I need to do. Not only for me but the health and well being of my family.
My TR is scheduled for Oct 29th and I am sooooo excited to have it done. I am so glad the we have the Dr.s and staff at CH to help us all heal for whatever reasons we did this for.
Thank you all for letting me share my story with you and I enjoyed reading all of yours.
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Jennifer K... kudos to you for such a positive spin on the situation.
Mine - a story that has been and will be told (UNFORTUNATELY) time and time again. A bad, abusive relationship... two babies back to back (blessed with a girl and a boy) and knowing I was leaving "some day" - couldn't risk another pregnancy.
Dr. was going to do clips because I was so young. I said he had to do the "traditional" cut and burn... or I would catch hell at home for having something "removable." It could only mean I was planning to leave and start over again someday.
TL Dr. went above and beyond the call of duty on that one! But Dr. B to the rescue! He pulled off some fancy work in there!
No regrets, NOW! Through it all, I have meet some of the most amazing people: a doctor and a staff unparalleled any where on this planet, an amazing support group of women I will never meet and my October '07 girls... some of the best friends a girl could want.
So, Jennifer K, I have come to your way of thinking. It all happens for a reason.
One year TR anniversary is coming up... still no Berger Baby - yet, my life has been blessed one thousand times over by this whole journey!
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Flutist29 I know what you mean. I saw your big day is October the 8th. That is my birthday. I will truly be thinking of you on that day and saying prayers for you. I wish you all the best. It is funny too that we both live in NC.
Tanya from VA your story is a great one that reminds us we never know how things will go. I wish you all the best.
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