posted
As you can see there are many different stories about siblings and their reactions to the possibility of having an addition to the family. I think at times it is typical for kids to be a little upset at the fact of a new addition to the family but usually as time goes by they more than likely are ok with iy. I would think that the more they are involved with things and the more things become "real" to them that they are ok with the idea. No matter what decision you make in regards to what and when you tell them, I know that it will be what is best for your family. Good luck. Rhonda
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I have been married to my current DH for 8 and half years, and just now we are planning to try for a baby. I am 37, he's 46. My three kids from my first marriage are 14, 11, and 10. We included them from the beginning, and they are all very excited. I will be having my TR on July 24, so only 69 days to go!!!! The part that I may not share as quickly is early BFP's, until I know for sure.
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Hi everyone. I'm new to this...first post. I'll be 42 in July and my husband is 28 (I guess that makes me a cougar). I have four sons from previous marriage - in the next few weeks will be 21, 18, 15 and 12. I always joked if I ever got pregnant it would be twin boys!!! I sort of talked my husband into the TR - he wants a child, but wasn't sure when...told him that I wasn't getting any younger. My oldest son used to cry everytime I got pregnant with the next one...I wonder if he still will at 21? I was his age when I had him, so I guess that makes me old enough to be a grandma. Never thought I'd be having another at this age, but I am looking forward to it. Had my TR 4/14/08 and am looking forward to a HPT next week - I'm only 9 or 10 days past ovulation, but nausea started yesterday! I've always been very fertile. My FSH was less than 3. Good thing I had my tubes tied 12 years ago, otherwise I'd probably have 10 by now! Looking forward to getting to know everyone!
posted
I think you should tell them just so they are not surprised when you do get pregnant. I kept mine informed of everything, they are DS- 22, 21, 19, 17, 7 and DD- 14. After thsi june we will only have 2 left at home so this seems the perfect tiem for us to be expecting our little blessing on 11/25:)
posted
Hello, how is everyone is doing. i'm great. anyhow, dh and i told our 9 and 12 year old what we was doing. told them all about the surg and the big thing they was worried about was, is mommy going to be ok. we told them that mom was going to ok and that chtrc was going to take good care of me.they both was happy and both said they would help out with there new baby brother or sister. lots of baby dust leann sc tr 4/7/08
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I have a 21 yr old DSD, 20 yr old DSS, 15 yr old DSS, 15 yr old DS, and my husband and I have a DD together that is 7. We also have a DGD that is 2. We haven't told the kids yet, but we have "joked" in the past about having another. My DS said there are enough kids, we don't need anymore. Our DD keeps telling everyone that she is really hoping that she can have a baby brother (not sister!), and I know my DSS's would be fine. The two older kids are out on their own. MY DSD will be the only one with negative feelings, but she has been that way since she was 12 and her father and I got together. (We had custody of all the kids)
We had planned on waiting to tell anyone until we got our BFP, but Bostonlass had a good point!! How do you explain coming back in the condition you are after surgery??? My TR is 5/15!! Only 15 days away....any suggestions??? Thanks, Shannon
posted
This is my theory I have a 14 yr old daughter and at first she had that same attitude, after taking to her I discovered that her biggest fears were the changes the baby would bring. She wanted a new baby but was scared about how it would affect her and her place in our family. She is my only daughter and just a little, okay A LOT spoiled:) I told her that she would always be loved and nothing was going to change so extreme that it would not be overcompensated in the joy of a new life. Now she is very eager:)
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i have a 13 and a 7year old. it was the 13 year old's idea to have another baby. she has begged for another sister for about 2-3 years so i finally got the baby blues and did it. my 7 year old could care less. he loves being a big brother to my little nephew, so i think he will be fine with a baby. i actually think he will be better than my 13 year old. it was my mother who i had to convince that it was going to be okay. and i still haven't told my father yet. i guess i will tell him when i can't hide it no more like i did with the rest of them.
posted
My son is almost 15, and my daughter is 18, my son's only remark was that he didnt want to get stuck babysitting. He said that a lot of his friends have to babysit all the time. When I assured him that wouldnt be the case, he was fine. Of course he also said he didnt want to share his room, and we'll see his reaction when he has to make sure his stuff is picked up so a baby doesnt eat it, but he loves kids, so I'm sure it will be fine. My daughter was fine with it as well, she's off to college and said it would be a little "akward" to have her and her brother be so old and then have a little one, but she is really ok with it. I dont know why she thinks it will be akward, what an odd word to use, huh? I myself have been more worried about the equality of the situation, my DH has already said that if I died, my two would get half, and any child (we only want one) we have together would get half, which is completely unfair. But I have an insurance policy on myself that gets split between the two of them, so that will have to make up for the unfair split in case I died first :-) The kids arent worried about that as sort of thing as I am. So anyway, my point is maybe your son has friends who have to babysit and he thinks he's going to have to also. Just a thought :-) Steph
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I was widowed just over 2 years and I have 3 children , 20, 18 and 15. My new partner is 34 and has never been married before or got any kids of his own.. hence the TR. My kids werent keen on the idea, the boys were ok but my daughter was dead set against the idea, until she had a scare and thought she was pregnant.. then she came up to me and said, go for it mum , I know how it feels to want a baby now! I have a step grandaughter now too and the way my daughter is bahaving I reckon a biological one isnt far away!
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We are a blended family. My DH has 3 girls from previous marriage. I had 2 girls from my previous marriage. When we got married they were 9,6,4,3, and 18 mos. that was june of 04. We had the surgery on 11/15/05. Girls were really spportive and excited about the possibility of a new baby. Our first TR baby was born on 9/1/06. We kept them very involved in the whole process of preparing for the baby. All was really great. Elijah (our little prince) is now 18 months old. We just found out that we are expecting #2. We were shocked! I am very scheduled. We thought we were done but I think God had other plans. This time around, its not that that aren't happy its just that no one seems that excited. Our 2nd daughter who is now 10 said when we told them was "are you guys trying to get your own tv show or what?" I have just tried to absorb it all and we will figure it all out soon.
Good luck to you. My best advice is this... This is between you and your husband. One day they will move out and you wll have each other. Do what makes you guys happy and everyone will come around.
I heard a lot of negative comments when we had surgery and whenwe was pg for Elijah, Now he is the prince of our world. I am sure it will be the same with this baby.
I am 50 and my DH is 45. I was a widow with 3 grown kids, he had never been married and has none.
My kids are 24,22, and 21, and I have 2 DGKs 3 and 1. Two of my DK's are in the military and live hundreds of miles away. The third has been on his own since he was 18 and lives 50 miles away. You would think that these three responsible adults would have acted accordingly to the news of our quest to have a child.
NOT! I have never heard such wailing and gnashing of teeth!! Bottom line is. This is a decision between you and your DH. No matter the ages of our DK's, this is our life and our body, and they will have to live with whatever decisions we make for ourselves.
I think all of our kids will come around when the blessed day arrives (God willing). In the meantime, just enjoy giving back some of the hassle that our kids give us!!!
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Well there's a good question....if you're keeping it from them...as I am...what excuse did you give for going away and coming back wicked sore? lol
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Berta, it made me laugh reading about the comment your 13 year old made! We have not told my 2 youngest about my TR yet, either. I'm a flight attendant, and so it's easy to fly luckily. We told them that I needed another hernia surgery, and Dr. Berger/in NC was the best Doctor. I'm sure they'll be happy because my Ex is having a child due in May, w/ his girlfriend, and my kids are excited. My 13yr old DD has wanted only to be a "Baby Doctor" and Mommy since she could talk so I am sure that she will be thrilled. We have actually only told very few people because we do not want the added pressure of monthly "are you pregnant yet" questions. Everyone will just get a big "SURPRISE!!!" announcement when the time comes.
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Hi Bostonlass! I will be scheduling my reversal in two weeks for the end of July. I have three children (16,11,8) and when I was 27, I was widowed. I have since re-married and my husband has twin girls (13). Everyone of the kids took it well except my 11 year old daughter who's first response was "No Way!, I have enough to do" I sat down with her and asked her how many times did she have to take care of her little sister with diapers, bottles and etc. She couldn't think of one time. Then a week later she was comepletely happy about it and when we asked her what changed her mind, she told me that she just can't wait to shop for the baby! My daughter is all about going to the mall. Don't worry your daughter will come around too! Just try to include her when it comes to shopping for the baby so she feels like she has an important roll.
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